Hisoka
by jennamarie
Summary: Sequel to Kazutaka. My summaries suck, so let's just say if you've read the first one, this is the continuation. Chapter 16
1. Chapter 1

Hi! First thing, this is the sequel to Kazutaka, if you have not read that, I guarantee that this will make no sense to you what-so-ever.

To those who have read Kazutaka, welcome back and thanks for coming!

I hope that this second (story? part? trip into the depth of my imagination?) is as good as the first one!

So as always, I own nothing, but you already knew that.

And of course, all responses are adored. (Even flames, but I don't think I've ever had one!)

**Hisoka**

**Chapter 1**

_The small child reached out a tiny hand towards the woman who looked down at him with flashing eyes._

"_Don't touch me!"_

_Okaasan?_

"_Get away from me you demon child!"_

_Please okaasan…_

"_You are not my son!"_

_The woman raised her hand and advanced on the child who cowered under the force of her rage and hate._

**XXX**

Muraki Kazutaka sat comfortably in the tall wing back chair facing the fireplace. The fire snapped and lit his living room with shifting patterns.

Setting his cigarette in an ashtray he lifted a glass of wine from the small table beside him and idly swirled the deep red liquid in the crystal bowl.

It was nice to be home.

A small sound drew his attention and he leaned forward, looking around the side of the chair. "Bouya?"

The slender youth stood hesitantly just inside the open doorway, he looked small and fragile, wrapped in a pale blue yukata.

"What's wrong?"

The blonde head looked up, the delicate features sleep flushed, but deep green eyes showed pain.

"I'm sorry to disturb you Kazutaka-san, it was just a nightmare, I should…"

Muraki set down his glass and reached out a hand to the youth. "Come here."

Green eyes flickered, but he approached the chair, accepting the outstretched hand.

Muraki gave a gentle tug and the youth fell onto his lap, he wrapped his arms around the trembling figure. Looking into the eyes of his doll, he noticed the expression that crossed his face.

"Well?" He let the boy hear the question in his voice.

"I can feel the darkness in you." The voice was soft and tremulous.

Muraki smiled softly. "I can't help that bouya, do you hate me for it?"

"N-no, but it's still disconcerting."

Muraki sighed. "So what did you dream about that has you so disturbed?"

The youth seemed to shrink in his arms. "I remembered my mother."

Muraki gave him a reassuring squeeze.

"Why?" Green eyes lifted to meet silver blue, pleading for understanding. _Why did they hate me? Why does it still hurt? Why am I…?_

"I told you before bouya, you have a gift, and your family in their ignorance could not understand and it frightened them. I took you away from that."

A troubled expression crossed the fine features. "I wish I could remember."

"It's probably better that you don't." The irony didn't escape Muraki, the words were eerily similar to what Oriya had told him. "You went through some very traumatic experiences, what can you remember?"

"I can remember up until I was thirteen, then my memories just…stop, until a few days ago."

Muraki nodded. "When you were thirteen you witnessed a murder, and the killer saw you, and pursued you. You were badly harmed." He knew the youth could feel the truth of his words. "I was your doctor after you were injured, and I took you away from your family."

"But that can't be what made my memories go away, if it happened so long ago. "

"No, recently you absorbed a large mass of negative emotions, and that affected you badly." It was a fine tightrope he was walking, no lies for the youth to pick up on, just omissions.

He placed his fingers beneath the boy's chin and raised his head until their eyes met again. "Don't worry bouya, I will take care of you and I will keep you."

The boy leaned into his embrace. "Thank you." _At least somebody wants me…_

"You should go back to bed."

The blonde head nodded and the lithe form pulled out of his arms. "Goodnight Kazutaka."

"Goodnight Hisoka-kun."

**XXX**

"_I will always come back to you, got that? Always, 'cause this is where I belong."_ Tsuzuki bolted up from his desk. He had fallen asleep in the office again, but this time his partner was not there to yell him awake and scold him. His eyes travelled to the empty desk across from his own.

"Hisoka…"

Three days had passed since his partner had disappeared with Muraki. The shinigami had descended on Chijou en masse to find the pair, but there had been no trace of them. Hisoka's destination had been Mibu Oriya's restaurant the Kokakuro, but they had never arrived there. Tsuzuki was sure that Hisoka had not been the one who had teleported them out of the infirmary. Muraki had his memories back, Tsuzuki was sure of it. The victorious smirk that had flashed on Muraki's face as they had disappeared was all proof Tsuzuki needed, Muraki was back, and he had taken his 'doll'.

Tsuzuki ran a hand across his face trying to wipe away the tiredness. He had barely slept since Hisoka disappeared. During the day there was work to do, reports to write, after all, people still died and the justice department still had cases that needed to be solved. But every spare moment he had, Tsuzuki was on Chijou, desperately hunting for his partner and the deranged doctor.

A movement in the doorway drew his attention. He looked over to see Tatsumi leaning on the doorframe observing him.

"Tatsumi! Um, how long have you been there?"

"Long enough to know that you were sleeping at your desk. Have you been home at all in the last couple of days?"

Tsuzuki shrugged. "I've been busy."

"Your messenger birds weren't able to locate him then?"

Tsuzuki shook his head. "No, he must have put up some sort of warding to prevent that. I didn't really expect to find them that easily anyway, I found Hisoka that way once before, Muraki wouldn't let it happen again."

"That's assuming he really has gone back to the way he was before."

"He has."

"Watari seems to think there's a chance that he hasn't."

"Watari wasn't there. I've seen that look from Muraki before Tatsumi. It means he thinks he's won." Tsuzuki got to his feet and grabbed his long coat. Throwing it on, he strode out of the office past Tatsumi.

"Where are you going Tsuzuki?"

Tsuzuki paused briefly. I'm going back to Chijou. There nothing more I can do here today."

Tatsumi nodded approvingly. "I'm glad to see you're dealing with the situation so well."

Tsuzuki flashed him back a small smile. "There's no time to fall apart now, this is too important."

"I agree." Tatsumi nodded a second time. "As soon as I've finished here I'll join you."

"Thanks."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

Tsuzuki wandered the twilight lit streets of Tokyo, among the crowds of people bustling and rushing in every direction as the shadows lengthened. He knew that Muraki had a practice in the city, and although Watari had managed to contact his office only to learn the doctor had taken an indefinite leave of absence, Tsuzuki still felt that this was the best place to begin searching.

Besides, he had no better ideas.

But finding one or two people in a city teeming with millions would be next to impossible Tsuzuki acknowledged to himself, his shoulders drooping.

Not for the first time, Tsuzuki swore to himself that when he found his partner, he would never let the younger shinigami out of his sight again. Somehow it seemed that he hadn't realized exactly how much he needed Hisoka until it was too late.

_I took him for granted._

Tsuzuki let out a long sigh and looked up at the street signs, wondering which way he should turn next.

_I knew I cared about him, but I never told him…_

The sound of the crowd and traffic around him were beginning to get him, although he'd had plenty of opportunity to get used to modern times, he had been born and raised in a quieter era.

_And I expected him to stay with me, but I never told him I'd stay with him…_

People brushed past him, bumped into him, and he found himself swept along with the crowds.

_That I need him…_

"Tsuzuki!"

Pulled out of his thoughts and growing sense of melancholy, Tsuzuki turned towards the voice calling his name. A tall man with long sunny blonde hair stood a short distance away waving madly. Behind him, the even taller dark haired shadow master rolled his eyes towards the heavens as if pleading for deliverance. The image brought a small grin to Tsuzuki's lips.

"Over here Tsuzuki!"

Tsuzuki waved back to acknowledge to Watari that he'd seen him and then started making his way through the throng of people, towards his co-workers.

"Anything?" Watari asked as he got close.

Tsuzuki shook his head. "No, nothing."

Watari appeared to deflate a little bit.

"Watari? Tell me again why you don't think Muraki will hurt Hisoka."

Watari sighed "I swear Tsuzuki, you're worse than a kid who wants the same bedtime story over and over."

Tsuzuki shrugged with a sheepish grin. "It makes me feel better."

"Fine, but don't ask me to tuck you in." Watari gave Tsuzuki a mock stern look. "The reason I don't think that Muraki will harm bon is because, while I agree you're right, he probably does have his memories back, he still has the memories of that last week that he spent as Kazutaka. You saw them together Tsuzuki, you had to have noticed the same things that I did!"

"Like what?"

"Like the way that Muraki protected bon, he was pretty damn protective of him, and he seemed to really like bon!"

Tsuzuki made a face at that.

"Not to mention he's going to remember the way that bon responded to him when he was not Mr. Evil Psycho Killer Doctor. Bon protected him, hell, I even saw bon smile at him! And all of this is going to affect how Muraki treats bon for the next little while."

"Just the next little while?" Tsuzuki asked frowning.

"Well, until his memories of being Muraki over-ride his memories of being Kazutaka."

"There's just one small hole in your theory." Tatsumi said, following along behind them.

"What's that?" Watari asked, looking over his shoulder at the other man.

"If Muraki has not harmed Kurosaki-kun, and is not likely to, then why hasn't Kurosaki-kun come back on his own?"

Tsuzuki paled, he hadn't thought of that.

Watari paled slightly as well. "I don't know."

**XXX**

Hisoka sat curled up in the same wingback chair that Kazutaka had occupied the night before, a book spread open across his lap. At the sound of approaching footsteps, he looked up to see the butler stop in the doorway.

"Would you be needing anything young Sir?"

"No Sakaki, thank you."

"Very well, I will be leaving to do the shopping now, if you have any problems, you have the Master's number, correct?"

Hisoka nodded and watched as the butler turned and headed away from the living room before turning his eyes back to the book, and his thoughts back to where they had been previously wandering.

Of everything in his life at this moment, there were two things that particularly disturbed him.

The first was his lack of memory.

When he had first awakened, he had been overwhelmed with panic when he'd realized that he was not in his own room, shaky and disorientated, he had climbed out of the unfamiliar bed and headed for the door, determined to find out where he was. Then he had passed a mirror. He had turned toward his own refection and not recognized the person looking back at him. He had been looking at a person a few years older than himself, and although the features were familiar, they were leaner, and the eyes! The green eyes of that stranger in the mirror, they looked so old!

Hisoka had reached out and touched the mirror, almost amazed when his reflection mimicked his actions. As his fingertips brushed the smooth glass surface, Hisoka had collapsed.

When he had awaked the second time, a pale man in white was seated on the side of his bed watching over him. The man had introduced himself as Kazutaka, and told him that he was his doctor and guardian. Kazutaka had then further shocked him when he told him he was sixteen. Hisoka's reaction had been one of disbelief and denial; in his last memories of himself he was thirteen. It had been difficult to accept that three years of his life had passed and he couldn't remember them.

Kazutaka had then informed him quite calmly that he knew about Hisoka's abilities.

He had flinched and waited for the hatred and scorn to wash over him as it always had from his family whenever anything had remotely hinted at his abnormalities, but all he had felt from the doctor had been understanding and acceptance.

And the darkness.

That was the second thing that disturbed him. In the past few days Kazutaka had been nothing but kind to him, but whenever he went near the man, he could feel a darkness in him, like a stain on his soul. It prickled his senses and made his skin crawl.

But he believed Kazutaka. His parents would never have told an outsider that their son was a freak and risk a stain on the Kurosaki name, so he must have told Kazutaka himself, and he would not have done that if he didn't trust the man, would he?

And for the acceptance he felt from the man, he would gladly overlook the darkness.

**XXX**

"Tatsumi desu."

Tsuzuki and Watari watched as Tatsumi wandered a little ways listening to whomever had just called him. Whatever the topic, it must have been serious, Tatsumi was frowning.

"Aa, we'll see you soon."

Tatsumi hit end, and put his phone away before turning to the other two shinigami. "That was Kanoe, he just came out of a late meeting with Enma-Dioh, and he wants to see us back in Enma-cho right away."

"Did he say what it was about?" Watari asked.

Tatsumi shook his head. "We'll find out when we get there."

**XXX**

Kanoe lead the way down the hallway to the briefing room, Tatsumi, Tsuzuki and Watari following in his wake.

"This is about Hisoka isn't it?" Tsuzuki asked.

Kanoe gave a brisk nod and opened the door of the briefing room, gesturing them inside.

"You don't need to be here Watari, if you have other things you need to do."

"I'll stay, if it's alright Kacho."

Kanoe nodded. "It's fine. Everyone take a seat." He waited while his subordinates complied. "As Tsuzuki guessed, this is about Kurosaki. We have four weeks, one month to find him and bring him back here. Since I for one, don't want to loose him, it becomes imperative for us to…" He trailed off at the shocked expressions that he was receiving, on Tsuzuki and Watari it looked fairly normal, but on Tatsumi it was seriously weirding him out.

It was Tsuzuki who spoke up first. "Loose him?"

Kanoe looked strained as he met Tsuzuki's eyes. "Aa. Enma-sama has decreed that if Kurosaki has not returned to his duties within the allotted time, his position as a shinigami will be refuted, and he will receive final judgement."


	3. Chapter 3

-1**A quick note: **I realize that my plot right now seems to be mirroring one or two other fics. (OMG! My originality flew out the window!) No, really, I happen to be reading and enjoying two other 'Hisoka loses his memory' fics myself, and I knew when my story started going this way (I really don't know what going to happen until I'm actually writing it) I'd have to be careful not to use other people's ideas. This is just a jump off point, the story is going to go off in another direction soon (I think) and hopefully I'll manage to surprise people again! XD

Enjoy!

**Chapter 3**

Muraki Kazutaka gazed up into the night sky at the red moon that hung low over the trees. Longing sang through his blood. While he had been suffering from amnesia, his spell had fed him energy, but with the spell terminated, he was back to collecting it for himself. Still, that was no problem. He had already found one, a suitable victim.

He almost wished he could stop this, but the blood moon demanded a sacrifice, and to deny it would weaken him, lessen his powers and life energy, allow him to grow old and meet death before his time.

And as long as he could draw and absorb the psychic and spiritual energy of other people, his death would be a long time coming.

As he approached his intended target he drew a wickedly sharp knife from his pocket. It was one of the items that he kept well hidden whenever he did not have it on him. Although his house-guest had no memory of their first meeting, this knife with the intricate and archaic writing along the blade was something that could possibly spark those memories into returning.

So when not in use, it remained locked away, along with several other things.

Behind his target now, grasping a handful of the hair and wrenching the head back. Drawing the knife along a pale throat, the warm blood that pulsed over his hands.

And the rush, THE RUSH of energy flowing into him, he felt wild laughter bubbling up in his throat, but he contained it.

Dropping the useless husk, he pulled out a handkerchief and cleaned the knife before putting it back in his pocket. Looking down at his now soiled clothing he let out a sound of disgust, why did they always have to bleed so much?

Turning he headed back to his car which was parked not to far away behind a row of trees. From there he would go to a small hotel room nearby where Sakaki would meet him with clean clothes. After changing, he would return home.

Where his doll was waiting…

**XXX**

Tsuzuki sat at his kitchen table, pure exhaustion keeping him in his seat, he felt as if every part of his body weighed a thousand pounds.

Watari sat across the table watching him closely while Tatsumi had taken it upon himself to cook a meal for the three of them and was currently standing in front of the stove creating a menagerie of temptingly mouth-watering aromas.

"Tsuzuki?"

He looked up to meet worried amber eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Numbly he nodded. "Aa, fine why?"

"'cause Tatsumi's wandering around your kitchen wearing a pink apron that says 'kiss the cook' and you haven't even cracked a grin."

Tsuzuki shrugged. "I hadn't noticed."

Watari reached out and took hold of Tsuzuki's hand. "Don't close down on us okay? We're here for you."

Tsuzuki gave him a feeble smile. "I know, it's just…"

Watari grinned back. "Yeah, we know. But bon's fine, he's strong and can take anything thrown at him, and we will find him in time."

"But right now we need to recoup, eat and get some sleep." Tatsumi said approaching the table with heaping full plates. "We'll never get anything done if you're running on empty."

"Alright." Tsuzuki took a plate from Tatsumi. "By the way, that apron is reeeeeeeally cute on you."

Tatsumi thunked him smartly on the head with a wooden spoon. "That was an unnecessary observation, Watari-san, you're a bad influence on him."

Watari looked offended. "Why would I be the bad influence? Tsuzuki's been around longer than I have! Maybe he's the bad influence on me!"

Tatsumi narrowed his eyes at the blonde scientist. "You have natural talent."

Watari sniffed. "Sure, sweet talk me why don't you?"

Both of them turned their gazes to Tsuzuki who had drifted back into his own thoughts and was haphazardly pushing the food around on his plate. Tatsumi reached over and snapped his fingers in front of his face. "Tsuzuki! Eat!"

"Oh, right." Tsuzuki said and began eat.

**XXX**

Hisoka was curled up in his tall wingback chair, an open book laying across his lap when Muraki came into the room.

Muraki felt a smile quirk the corner of his mouth as he looked down on the slumbering form. _It seems that he still has problems being conscious in my presence._ Careful not to wake the youth, he moved the book to the side table and gently lifted his slight weight into his arms.

Hisoka moaned in his sleep but didn't awaken.

Muraki could feel the physical pull caused by the curse carved into the boy's skin. It had been that same physical draw that had attracted his attention to green eyed blonde after his accident, when all he'd known was the inside of a hospital room.

Climbing the stairs he wondered if the boy would have attracted his attention without it. He looked down at the sleeping face. Long lashes closed against pale cheeks, dark blonde strands brushing against skin as fine as porcelain. Piercing emerald eyes that were almost as striking as Tsuzuki's amethysts.

He was sure his doll would have caught his attention regardless, but without the physical bond created by his curse, the possessive feeling he had felt towards his doll may not have developed.

_But they did…_ He told himself, and he remembered how he felt when his doll had taken his hand, had put himself at risk to protect him, had smiled at him, and now,_ I just want to feel that way again, I didn't think I would ever feel anything like that again, not after…_

Hisoka moaned again and Muraki noticed that his grip on him had tightened, and his thoughts were also probably beginning to disturb the bouya's empathy.

He laid the boy in his bed and pulled the sheet over him. Preparing to leave the room, he turned off the light and looked back and something deep inside him, almost forgotten, glowed warm.

**XXX**

_He was wandering through a sakura grove at twilight. The trees were in full bloom and the petals fell like rain around him._

_He walked aimlessly amongst the trees, looking for something, but he didn't know what._

_A soft sound drew his attention, and he began to follow it. It sounded like someone crying._

_Finally he came upon two figures curled up against the base of one of the sakuras. One was bound, there were ropes and chains wrapped around the slender figure, a gag covered his mouth, and heavy iron cuffs adorned his wrists and ankles. He met eyes that full of fear, anger and hurt, it was him…_

_He was looking at himself!_

_The other figure looked to be a child of no more than six years old, curled up against the bound copy of him. The tiny head lifted and he found himself looking into his own eyes again, the child was him as well, looking up at him with sad imploring eyes._

"_I want to go home."_

_The words struck a deep and painful chord inside of him. But home was…a horrible place full of hate and anger, home was a place of betrayal and hurt._

"_No, not there." The child said softly, tears beginning to trace down his soft cheeks. "I want to go to my home, where I belong."_

"_Do you…" He choked slightly on the emotions that welled in him, hope raced to the front of them. "know where home is?"_

_The child sobbed. "No, I can't remember, but he does." The child looked at the bound and gagged form._

_He knelt down and started pulling at the chains, fighting the knots on the ropes, but for all his efforts they would not give. He found that he couldn't even loosen the gag. He looked at himself with pleading eyes._

"_I want to go home…"_

_Franticly he tugged at the binds, desperation driving him to keep trying._

_Finally exhausted, he collapsed in front his bound self and the child, he tears were now running down his face._

"_I want to go home…"_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Emerald eyes blinked open and Hisoka sat up in his bed, tears still trailing down his face.

He'd had that dream again.

Every night for the past week Hisoka had walked through the sakura grove at twilight, and every night he came upon the two versions of himself, and every night he was unable to free the part of himself that knew where home was.

And every morning he woke up crying.

Climbing out of bed, he made his way quietly to the bathroom to wash his face and clean up. For whatever reason he didn't really want Kazutaka to know about the dreams that he'd been having.

Returning to his room, he dressed quickly and headed for the dining room.

Kazutaka was already sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He looked up when Hisoka entered the room. "Good morning bouya."

"Good morning." Hisoka made his way to the table and took his seat, his eyes still on Kazutaka. He lowered his gaze when those silver blue eyes met his and narrowed slightly.

"Is something wrong bouya?"

"No." Hisoka looked up as Sakaki came into the room and set a plate of food in front of him. "Thank you."

Sakaki nodded and placed a pot of tea on the table before taking his leave.

"Bouya."

Hisoka looked back at Kazutaka.

"Your eyes are red."

"Aa, I didn't sleep well."

Kazutaka stood and walked around the table. Placing a finger beneath Hisoka's chin, he lifted his face 'til their eyes met and held his gaze for a long while.

Hisoka kept his expression neutral and finally Kazutaka let go, returning to his seat. Hisoka flinched at the annoyance he could feel emanating from the man. He had a strong urge to tell Kazutaka everything, to try to gain back the acceptance that he usually felt from the man.

But something held him back, some deep instinct told him that Kazutaka would not be pleased to hear of the reoccurring dreams he'd been having, so he held his silence.

Hisoka picked at his breakfast aware of the silver blue eyes that watched his every move and for the first time that he could remember he felt uncomfortable in Kazutaka's presence…

**XXX**

"Moshi Moshi."

"Would you care to tell me why you are not at work this morning Tsuzuki-san?"

Tsuzuki winced "T-Tatsumi! I'm sorry, I must have forgotten to tell you…"

"Tell me what Tsuzuki-san?" Tatsumi asked in a 'this better be good' voice.

"Ah, I'm going to the Kokakuro this morning, to talk to Oriya-san."

"And why did this come out of the blue?"

"Well, it's not really out of the blue, I talked to Oriya several days ago and he said he'd make time to talk to me this morning."

"Alright, so why am I just learning about this now?"

"Um, I forgot?"

"And what did you want to talk to Oriya-san about? We already spoke to him and he said he had no knowledge of Muraki's whereabouts or plans."

"I know, but we were thinking that if Muraki doesn't want to hurt Hisoka, then maybe if he knew about Enma's decree he'd let him go and Oriya might be able to get word to him about it."

There was a moment of silence over the phone as Tatsumi considered. "We?"

"Me and Watari."

"So Watari knew about this?"

"Um, yes?"

An exasperated sigh "Fine. I'll see you when you come into the office, then you, Watari and I are going to have an impromptu meeting about following procedure.

A cold shiver went down Tsuzuki's back at the evil tone in Tatsumi's voice. "Aa, I'll see you in a while then."

**XXX**

Oriya was sitting out in the garden enjoying the cool clear morning when Tsuzuki arrived. Looking the violet eyed man up and down Oriya thought he looked much worse than the last time he'd seen him, when the three shinigami had come to the Kokakuro looking for Muraki and their youngest member.

Then Tsuzuki had been panicked, now he seemed to be more in control, but an air of desperation hung over him, a sense of impending doom that hadn't been there at their last meeting.

And it showed. There was tightness to his features that made him look slightly haggard.

"So, what can I help you with this morning?" Oriya asked briskly. He would help the man if he could, but he still didn't particularly like him.

"We need to get a message to Muraki."

Oriya raised an eyebrow. "And how am I supposed to accomplish that little miracle?"

Tsuzuki shrugged. "We have no way to get a message to him ourselves and it's possible that he will contact you, you are his friend after all."

Oriya snorted. "When it's convenient for him."

Tsuzuki continued. "All we're asking is that if you hear from him that you give him the message."

"So what is this message that you want me to tell him?"

"Enma-sama has decreed that if Hisoka has not returned to his duties as a shinigami in the next three weeks, he'll receive judgement, final judgement."

Oriya looked up, shocked. "You mean the bouya…"

Tsuzuki nodded. "If Muraki doesn't let him come back, we'll all lose him."

**XXX**

Oriya sat in the garden for a long while after the violet eyed man had left considering what his next move would be.

When the shinigami had come before they had asked if he knew where Muraki was, if he knew what the man planned, if he'd seen him or the bouya, and he had answered no to every question.

It was the truth. He didn't know any of those things.

The shinigami had never thought to ask if he could contact Muraki and Oriya had not volunteered the information.

His loyalties lay with Muraki after all, he owed nothing to the shinigami.

But this was different, the bouya had a fierce spirit and Oriya respected that. It would be a shame if he was lost because Muraki didn't have all the pertinent information.

His decision made, Oriya headed inside to make a phone call…

**XXX**

The bouya was lying to him.

_His doll_ was hiding something from him!

A bolt of anger shot through him at the thought.

Kurosaki Hisoka was _his._ His doll, his puppet, and the bouya was not allowed to betray him.

Muraki sat in his study looking through older files and records from his private practice, but he was paying very little attention to the paperwork in front of him.

Instead he was nursing the anger that boiled through his veins.

Perhaps it was time he reminded his doll just who was in charge…

_What am I thinking!_

Muraki raised a hand to his head, scowling. The bouya had to learn that he couldn't hide anything from him.

_That's not why I brought him here!_

He demanded obedience from his toys, he always had. He remembered…

_I just wanted…_

Pain and fear in an emerald setting.

Muraki set aside his paperwork and started to his to his feet when he heard phone ring. Mildly startled he pulled out his cell phone and thumbed the talk button. "Muraki desu."

**XXX**

Hisoka stood at the head of the stairs. Carefully he stretched out his empathic abilities. He could feel a calm presence at the back of the house, that would be Sakaki, and from the study near the base of the stairs he could feel a burning anger that took his breath away.

Since breakfast Kazutaka's irritation had given way to this anger that screamed into Hisoka's mind and every instinct he possessed cried out to flee.

He was afraid.

He was afraid of Kazutaka and the anger the man was flooding him with.

Dizziness and nausea swept over him and he swayed, grabbing a hold of the banister to keep himself from spilling down the stairs. Slowly and silently he descended, clenching his teeth as he got closer to the study and the outpouring of emotion. For a moment he felt his mind would snap under the pressure.

Then he was past the room, heading toward the exit, his senses telling him that he was unnoticed.

Suddenly a ringing tone broke the silence before it was cut off.

"Muraki desu."

Muraki?

_Oh gods! It's him! Please help me, I don't want to be here! Don't let him get me! Not again, not again! Please, it's him, gotta get away! Somebody please! Help me, please! Tsu…_

Hisoka stood stock still, his eyes wide listening to the childish voice from his dream screaming in his head, but the sound of approaching footsteps cut off the cries in his mind. Quickly he eased out the front door of the house, pulling the door shut behind him without a sound.

Finally he gave in to his instincts and began to run


	5. Chapter 5

And we're still kicking!

**Chapter 5**

Hours passed.

Moving quickly through the bustling streets of Tokyo, threading his way through the crowds trying his best to avoid brushing against others, a backpack thrown over his shoulder. No destination, no money, only a quiet feeling of desperation that pushed him to _keep moving _in spite of the exhaustion that was starting to slow him down.

Dizziness and nausea were becoming close and personal companions with the emotions of the masses breaking over him so soon after the onslaught of Kazutaka's anger. More than anything at the moment he wanted to find a quiet place, someplace where he could sit for a short while and gather himself.

But the thought of stopping brought another voice screaming into his head, the voice of a young child, the child he used to be. _Don't stop! He'll find you! Keep going! Find somewhere to hide!_

Realizing that it was growing darker, he looked up at the sky and glared at the dark clouds that were gathering overhead. The clouds ignored him and continued to convalesce, a roll of thunder promised that rain would soon follow.

Darkness was beginning to creep over the city when he finally passed an alley that his empathy told him was empty and he darted into it. Making his way into the deeper shadows, he finally allowed himself to collapse under a dilapidated balcony, out of sight of the street. Almost immediately he dropped into a light doze, his arms wrapped around himself.

As the night air cooled he began to shiver, but it was the first few drops of rain splashing on him that pulled him out of his shallow sleep.

Like he had so many nights when he was younger, Hisoka curled into a small ball and prepared to face the long, cold, wet night.

**XXX**

Morning found the streets of Tokyo bright and bustling and Tsuzuki Asato once again moved through the crowds without direction. Keeping his attention focused he scanned the crowd looking for bright green eyes, dark blonde hair, familiar featured pulled into a habitual frown. The crowds thinned as the workday began and Tsuzuki's pace slowed.

He knew it was an exercise in futility, but he still continued to search.

But when his attention was caught, it wasn't by the familiar form of his much-missed partner, rather a flash of winter white that approached quickly in his peripheral vision. He turned to face the rapidly advancing figure.

"Tsuzuki."

"Muraki"

The pale man in white and the dark man in black stood facing each other, barley noticing the masses of people passing around them. For a long moment neither moved.

Then in the same heartbeat they both spoke.

"Where is he?"

Silver blue eyes narrowed and violet eyes widened.

"You lost him?" Tsuzuki asked in disbelief.

Muraki scowled. "I didn't loose him, the bouya didn't inform me of his intention to leave."

Tsuzuki's scowl matched Muraki's. "Why would he tell you he was escaping?"

"He was hardly a prisoner Tsuzuki-san." Muraki informed him. "There were no guards, no locks on the doors. The bouya was free to come and go as he wished. Indeed, he seemed to greatly enjoy the garden."

"Then why didn't he come back?" Tsuzuki asked accusingly.

"Perhaps he just didn't want to." Muraki said quirking an eyebrow as his scowl turned into a smirk.

For a brief moment Tsuzuki looked completely shocked, but he shook it off. He would not believe that Hisoka would willingly abandon him. "I don't believe you." Tsuzuki said, his fist clenched tight at his sides. "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing much." Muraki stated casually, his smirk spreading out slightly. "In fact, compared to my usual standards I was quite nice to him. He seemed perfectly content until…" Muraki trailed off, his eyes widening in realization. _Until I got angry._ He cursed softly to himself, he had forgotten about the bouya's empathy. He would have to do something about that when he got his doll back.

"Until what?" Tsuzuki asked suspiciously.

Muraki shook his head. "Nevermind Tsuzuki-san, it's not important. What is important is finding the bouya. I understand we have a time limit?"

"Aa. I suppose you must have talked to Oriya-san."

"How long?"

"He has two weeks and five days to return to his duties."

"Well then, perhaps we should work together to find him, don't you think? Two sets of eyes are better than one." Muraki turned and started to walk away, clearly expecting Tsuzuki to follow him.

"Wait."

Muraki turned back and raised a brow. "Is something the matter Tsuzuki-san?"

"Why don't you just track him through the curse like you did last time?" Tsuzuki sounded like he was trying not to choke on the question.

A flash of irritation crossed Muraki's features. "I can't feel it, not without physical contact. For the bouya's sake I suppressed it."

Tsuzuki's jaw hit his chest. Muraki had suppressed the curse? Watari had been right!

Muraki turned and started to walk away again and this time Tsuzuki followed, in time to hear Muraki mutter to himself.

"I won't make that mistake again."

**XXX**

The day was crisp and cool and although his clothes had dried out long ago, Hisoka still felt chilled through to the bone. By late afternoon, when the constant walking failed to warm him up, he sought shelter at an indoor plaza.

Ignoring for the most part the surrounding stores he found a bench and went to sit down. The smells from a nearby restaurant made his inside clench with hunger, but he pushed aside the discomfort and tried to figure out what he was going to do. He had been traveling mostly south, and a few more hours of walking should take him outside of the city, right into the Kanagawa Prefecture. It was too close to home. If he swung west, it would take him longer to get out of Tokyo, but he could avoid entering Kawaski and…

And then what?

Hisoka snarled softly to himself in frustration, he had no idea where he was going, or why. He was moving solely on instinct and it was leading him steadily south.

Stiffly he pulled himself back to his feet and swayed before he managed to catch his balance. The sooner he got moving, the sooner he could get wherever he was going, he could only hope his instincts knew what they were doing.

He had only gone a few steps when a woman's voice sounded from behind him.

"It's you!"

Hisoka turned around sharply at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. "Excuse me?"

"It's you, but it can't be! You look exactly the same!"

_The same as what?_

Hisoka drew back from the woman. "I'm sorry, I don't remember you."

The woman threw her hair back over her shoulder and advanced on him. "You threaten someone and make horrible accusations and then forget them? What type of person are you anyway?"

"If I accused you of something, then you must have done it."

The woman flushed in indignation. "Well, I see you haven't changed much at all." Anger flashed in her eyes and across Hisoka's senses.

It was too much, he was too tired, too hungry, and the added stress of the woman's irrational anger against his already fragile mental shields caused black spots across his vision and he sagged.

The woman caught his arm before he hit the floor and pulled him back to his feet, holding on until he had found his balance again. "You're not doing to well, are you?" Some of the anger died off and was replaced by concern.

Hisoka couldn't answer. The nausea had returned full force and he was not going to open his mouth for anything.

The woman looked around. "Is your brother here somewhere?"

_Brother?_

Hisoka decided to risk it. "Who?"

"Your brother, um, I forget his name, I'd have to find the program from the dance competition."

_Dance competition?_

Hisoka looked at the woman in bewilderment.

She sighed. "You look lost. C'mon, I'll take you back to my hotel room with me, but just for tonight." She moved forward and put an arm around Hisoka's waist, leading him firmly towards the doors. "A meal and a good night's sleep and you'll feel much better, see! I'm not all bad."

Hisoka blinked. "No, I don't think you're bad…"

She gifted him with a truly lovely smile. "Thank you. I think that may be the first nice thing you've said to me." Outside, she raised her and hand over her head and called out in an amazingly loud voice. "Taxi!"

Hisoka winced at the shout, but was impressed by the results when a taxi immediately pulled up by the curb.

With only a little no-so-gentle persuading, the woman managed to get him and herself into the car and after giving the driver an address, she settled back to enjoy the ride.

"Excuse me?"

She looked over at Hisoka. "Nani?"

"I'm afraid I've forgotten your name."

She smiled. "Of course. Kano Shiori.

"I'm…"

"Oh, I remember your name." Her smile softened. "Your brother called you Hisoka."

"My…brother?"

"What was his name, it was written on the program with Tojyo Hisae's. What was it?"

Hisoka could feel a shift in her emotional state as the memory came to her.

"Oh yes, Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki Asato."


	6. Chapter 6

I think this is the longest I've gone without an update, I'm so sorry to keep everyone hanging! I've been swamped with projects, but I have not abandon my fics! I am still working on all of them! .

Big warning: Muraki dreaming, if anyone can follow this, you get a gold star, it seriously warped by brain.

**Chapter 6**

_He sat at his desk and leaned back, observing the familiar surroundings. The lamplight spread in a warm circle illuminating the top of his desk and the piles of paper waiting for his attention. It was just a quiet moment in his office, they were far too rare and he treasured his free time. Picking up an envelope from among the files and piles of paper, he looked it over smiling slightly at the childish handwriting. He opened it and pulled out the note from inside._

_Dear Muraki Sensei. _

_Today was my sixth birthday, momma made me a cake and I even got to have a party, but just a little one because momma says I'm still recovering from my operation. Momma says we were lucky that you were there to perform the operation and you saved my life._

_Thank you._

_Takadori Matika._

_P.S I tried to send you a piece of cake, but it wouldn't fit in the envelope._

_He set the letter down. It was a good feeling to know that he'd helped someone._

_**Sensei, how's my daughter?**_

_That he could make a difference._

_**How's Kara.**_

_It almost made him forget the things that hurt him, almost._

_**What do you mean she's dead?**_

_The lights in his office flickered and then went out, he opened his eyes to the darkness._

_**What kind of person are you that you could save the life of one little girl?**_

_When did the good feelings die?_

_**What did you do wrong?**_

_When did the failures outweigh the successes?_

_**You killed her! You didn't do anything!**_

IF THEY CAN HATE SOMEONE WHO TRIED TO HELP, HOW SHOULD I FEEL ABOUT THE ONE THAT ACTED DELIBERATLY?

_Kazutaka, this is your half-brother Saki._

_**It was your fault Sensei!**_

_You killed them, didn't you Saki?_

_Why did the failures mean more than the successes?_

_**I hate you Sensei!**_

_I hate you Saki!_

I'LL SHOW THEM WHAT HATRED CAN DO!

_He could see through the darkness, the dark splatters on the walls of his office, shinning wetly, insane laughter bubbled up in his throat, but died before crossing his lips. His eyes slid closed again as he was engulfed by his own darkness._

_Just give me a chance to…_

_**Kazutaka!**_

_Save me…_

_A slight figure threw itself between him and the darkness. A faint light shimmered around them, a barrier. The darkness collided into it and the barrier shattered. The figure threw its arms up defensively and braced itself against the onrushing torrent, not moving._

_From myself…_

_**You killed…**_

I DON'T CARE!

_**You killed…**_

DOLLS, TOYS, THEY MEAN NOTHING!

_**You killed…**_

AND WHEN THEY ARE BROKEN, I DISCARD THEM.

_**Me…**_

The slight figure collapsed. He looked down at it. Wide green eyes looked back at him.

**Who am I?**

YOU ARE WHO I MADE YOU.

**Why am I?**

YOU ARE BECAUSE I ALLOW YOU TO BE.

_The slight figure rose to its feet…_

**But I want to be myself.**

_And turned and walked away, towards open arms and violet eyes._

_Anger, rage, desire, and hate rolled in the darkness that he pulled around himself like a cloak._

THEN YOU WILL SUFFER FOR IT.

**XXX**

Blinking, Muraki sat up in his bed, one hand raised to his forehead. He tried to capture the threads of the dream that he had been having, but they were elusive and hazy. There had been a letter, the dark and the bouya? He felt a surge of anger at the thought of the youth. He sat and let the emotion wash over him.

When he felt calm again, he rose from the bed and began to get dressed. Soon he would be meeting Tsuzuki and they would resume their search for Hisoka. Although to be honest with him, he had no idea where the bouya would have gone, unless the memory block he had imposed on the boy had broken, the only places he knew would be Muraki's home and his family home in Kamakura, and Muraki doubted that he would head there. But he would find him, and when he did there would be hell to pay.

A smirk formed on Muraki's lips. But then, as long as he was searching with Tsuzuki, finding the bouya was not truly his top priority. It would be an interesting day.

**XXX**

The morning light streamed into the hotel room and fell on the slight figure that curled into a tight ball and attempted to bury itself under a mound of blankets.

"Hey sleepy head, it's time to get up, I've got to get going."

Hisoka stirred and blinked groggily. "What time is it?"

"Almost ten, I need to check out and then I'm heading home." Shiori reached down and grabbed Hisoka's blankets and gave them a tug. "Are you feeling better this morning?"

"Aa, thank you." Hisoka pulled himself to his feet. Shiori had been good to her word, she had made sure that he had a good meal into him and then gotten him settled into an extra futon provided by the hotel. He felt almost human again.

"So where are you going to go now?"

The question left him totally flummoxed. Finally he told her the truth as he knew it. "I'm trying to go home."

Shiori smiled at him. "That sound like a good destination. Where is home?" She started to fold the blankets.

"Home is where Tsuzuki is." Hisoka replied without thinking, his eyes widening in shock at his own words. _Where did that come from?_ He pushed it aside and tried to change the subject. "So, where are you going?"

She looked over at him. "Well, I'm going to Kumamoto, but I won't get there today. I'm going to have diner in Kyoto, at a restaurant a friend told me about, then I'm going to stop for the night in Osaka. I should get home to Kumamoto sometime tomorrow."

"Would you take me with you?" Hisoka asked, his mouth once again forming the words of its own violation.

Shiori looked surprised. "Take you with me?"

Hisoka nodded. "I'm heading south and I really had no idea how I was going to travel, but if I can go with you, I'll get where I'm going much quicker. I promise I won't be a bother."

"Actually, I'm not too worried about your being a bother." Shiori heaved a sigh and dropped the folded blankets onto the futon. "Alright, you can come with me." Suddenly she grinned at him. "I should be happy for the company, it's a long trip. Why don't you watch some TV while I finish getting my things together?"

Hisoka nodded his thanks and watched as Shiori left the room. Picking up the remote he flipped on the television set. Flipping idly though the channels he finally stopped on a news program. The date was displayed on the bottom of the screen. The day and month were correct, but the year…

"Shiori-san?" He asked as she walked back into the room carrying a makeup bag.

"Hmmm?"

"Is that the right date?"

Shiori squinted at the television. "Yup, why?"

Hisoka gave her a slightly shaky grin, "I just seem to have lost a day somewhere." He said lightly.

Shiori nodded. "It happens to the best of us."

Hisoka turned his attention back to the news, more specifically, the date displayed at the bottom of the screen. If the year was right, then he hadn't forgotten three years as Kazutaka had told him.

He had forgotten six.

_What is going on here?_

**XXX**

Tsuzuki sat at the corner booth at a small café looking into a cup of coffee. This morning he felt every one of his one hundred plus years.

After finding out the day before that Hisoka had left Muraki, Tsuzuki had more than half expected his partner to be waiting in Meifu when he returned. If Muraki no longer had Hisoka, wouldn't Hisoka have come home?

But he was still missing. Gloomily Tsuzuki wondered if Muraki had been telling the truth, what if Hisoka didn't want to come back to him? Tsuzuki felt a small, essential part of himself curl up and keen in misery. What would he do if Hisoka had really left him behind?

The sound of sweeping fabric alerted him to Muarki's arrival, but he couldn't bring himself to care enough to even look up, not even when Muraki's fingertips trailed along the back of his neck as the man walked around him.

"Ohiyo Tsuzuki-san."

Muraki took the seat across the table and waved over a waitress. After giving the girl his order he faced Tsuzuki, seeming unperturbed by the lack of response. He reached across the table and lifted Tsuzuki's chin so he could look into dull violet eyes. He looked deep into those eyes remembering the last time he'd seen those eyes looking so…empty. A slight frown touched his lips, he had schemed, manipulated and murdered to bring Tsuzuki to this state, the bouya achieved it simply by his absence. If he'd realized that earlier…

The frown changed to a smirk as a whole plethora of opportunities seemed to unfold before him.

"Why Tsuzuki, you seem a little upset this morning, are you missing your little partner?"

Something flashed deep in the violet eyes and Tsuzuki pulled away from Muraki's touch. He stood, ignoring his untouched coffee.

"This was a bad idea." He muttered, more to himself than to Muraki as he turned to walk away.

"Probably." Muraki conceded. "The bouya has made his own choices after all. Why should either of us try to find him if he doesn't want to be found?"

Tsuzuki whipped back around. "That's not what I meant. I meant working with you is a bad idea."

Muraki gave him a grin. "That may be as well, but I'm your best chance to find him." Muraki leaned back in his seat looking incredibly relaxed. "And the clock is ticking."


	7. Chapter 7

I know, this took sooo long to come out, I'm divided between so many projects at the moment I'm amazed I can keep them all moving. (As those who like Film and Screen know, it's moving _very_ slowly, but it's coming, I swear!)

Please don't kill me…

**Chapter 7**

Tatsumi strode through the corridors of Enma-cho, muttering darkly under his breath.

"When I get my hands on you Tsuzuki, I'll…"

"You'll what?" Said an overly geneki voice from behind him.

Tatsumi whipped around to find Watati following behind him, his amber eyes sparking with suppressed mirth.

"It's not everyday we catch the esteemed secretary of the Shokan talking to himself!"

Tatsumi let out a long suffering sigh. "What are you doing Watari?"

"I'm returning to work, in case you hadn't noticed this is the way to the lab." Watari grinned unabashedly. "So what are you planning to do to poor Tsuzuki?"

"I'm sure I will think of something suitable."

"Why?"

Another long drawn out sigh. "Have you noticed the time Watari?"

"Um, yeah. It's twelve thirty, I just finished lunch."

"And have you seen Tsuzuki today?"

Watarti's eyes widened. "You mean he didn't come in?"

"No, he hasn't and he hasn't called either. I've already had to cover for him once with Kanoe today…"

"You lied to Kanoe?"

"I prefer to think of it as stretching the truth. I would wager I know what Tsuzuki's doing…"

The cheerfulness left Watari's face. "He's out looking for Bon."

Tatsumi nodded. "But he cannot just take off like this, he still has a job to do."

"But Tatsumi…"

"No. We all want to find Kurosaki-kun, but disappearing like this is not helping. Now instead of one missing Shinigami, we have two. How do you think Enma would react to that?"

Watari paled.

Tatsumi nodded again as he saw that his co-worker understood the possible implications. "I can cover for Tsuzuki for a little while, but we need to get him back here before his absence is noticed. We will continue to look for Kurosaki-kun, but we have to make sure that the job gets done as well."

Watari looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, last time he didn't come into work he'd gone to see Oriya…"

"Which you were well aware of…"

"Maybe he went back there again?"

Tatsumi considered this. "Perhaps. I'll go to the Kokakuro after work and see if he stopped by there."

Watari flashed him a small grin. "Why don't you let me go, knowing you, the Kokakuro will be closed before you finish working."

Tatsumi gave him a mildly annoyed look. "Very well. Make sure that you tell me if you learn anything."

"Aye, aye sir!" Watari said, saluting.

**XXX**

Hisoka sat in the car beside Shori looking out at the scenery passing by. Although the expression on his face was completely neutral, his thoughts were racing a mile a minute.

_Six years._

Six years had passed since he was thirteen. He focused on his reflection in the window, he defiantly didn't look like a nineteen year old.

And Kazutaka had lied to him.

Hisoka turned that thought over in his mind. Had Kazutaka lied to him? He tried to remember if the doctor had said anything about the amount of time that he had forgotten and came to the conclusion that he hadn't. He had merely said that Hisoka was sixteen, which both his empathy and his reflection in the glass seemed to confirm as truth.

_What's wrong with me?_

And then there was this Tsuzuki Asato who Shori had said was his brother…

But he was an only child…

So who was Tsuzuki Asato?

**XXX**

Tired, Tsuzuki stretched his arms over his head and tried to ignore the presence of the man walking beside him. It felt as if they had covered most of Tokyo over the course of the day and finally Tsuzuki began to realize something.

And he was stunned by the revelation that had finally hit him.

Muraki was as clueless as he was.

The man in white, who always seemed to be in control of every situation around him (usually to Tsuzuki's dismay), had no idea where Hisoka was and only a minimal idea of how to go about finding him.

He found the thought both comforting and frightening.

Comforting because if proved that Muraki was not as infallible as he usually seemed.

Frightening because it meant that Hisoka could be _anywhere_.

But for some reason Muraki seemed to be positive that he would not have returned to Meifu when he brought it up, and Tsuzuki's eyes narrowed slightly as he wondered what Muraki knew that he didn't. Maybe now that Hisoka was away from Muraki, he should try one of his ofuda birds again. His lips tilted up slightly at the thought and a small kernel of hope bloomed in his chest.

Yes, as soon as he could get away from Muraki he would…

"You seem pretty lost in your own little world." Muraki's voice cut through his musings "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Nothing that would interest you." Tsuzuki returned with feigned nonchalance.

Muraki stopped walking, ignoring the crowd of people that moved around them and the dirty looks that he drew for blocking part of the busy sidewalk. He drew out a cigarette and lit it, his silver blue eyes never leaving his companion who had paused, looking back at him. "Tell me Tsuzuki-san, do you ever think about what we talked about at the Noh play?"

Tsuzuki looked over at Muraki, startled, where had _that _come from? But, he acknowledged to himself, it was like Muraki to keep him off balance and to aim for his weak spots. "No." He said in a hard voice, denying that he thought of Muraki's words regularly.

A knowing smirk crossed Muraki's lips. "So you've accepted it then?"

"I've accepted that I'm human in every way that matters. Why would I take your word over the words of the people who care about me?"

Muraki laughed, shaking his head. "The bouya told you you're human."

Tsuzuki bristled. "Yes."

Muraki's laughter doubled. "What would the bouya know about being human?"

Tsuzuki shot him a suspicious look. "What do you mean by that?"

The laughter died, but amusement still lingered in Muraki's face and voice. "Kurosaki Hisoka is no more human than you are."

Tsuzuki's mouth gapped open. "W-what?"

"After I found my grandfather's research on you I became curious and began to look for other instances where foreign DNA could enter a human blood line, and by luck or fate I discovered the Kurosaki."

Tsuzuki looked at him blankly.

"Imagine, the bouya was conceived by a man who was possessed by a demon, as was his father, back for generations. With every new heir, the demonic matter in the Kurosaki blood would become stronger. If the Kurosaki line was allowed to continue uninterrupted, there is the possibility that someday in the future their offspring would have become full demons."

"No, you're lying!"

"Why would I lie?" Muraki pulled off his glasses and cleaned them on a handkerchief. Holding them up to the m up to the light he peered through them to make sure they where clean. "Think on this then. My curse took three years to kill him. If he had been a normal human, he would have been dead within a week." Putting his glasses back on, he turned his piercing gaze on Tsuzuki. "Did you really think it was coincidence that I met the bouya that fateful night?"

**XXX**

_Walking once more through the grove of sakura tree, the setting sun shining through the trees made molted patterns on the ground as he once again walked the path that he had already walked several times before. There was **that **tree up ahead of him, and the two figures that seemed to be forever at its base, himself, bound and gagged with ropes and chains that no amount of prying or pulling had been able to loosen, and himself as a young child, lost, confused, hurting, unwilling to leave the only chance he had of finding his home._

_The small figure looked up as he approached and he found himself meeting his own eyes in a younger guise._

"_Look!" The childish voice cried out and he pointed at his bound counterpart. "Look!"_

_He moved closer and saw what caused the beginnings of hope to glimmer in the tremulous voice._

_One link of one chain bore a slight crack…_

_He grabbed at the chain and pulled with every ounce of strength that he had._

"_I want to go home…"_

**XXX**

"Hisoka-kun?"

Hisoka awoke with a jerk, startled out of his dream, and for a moment he had no idea where he was.

"Wake up sleepy-head, we're here."

"We're here?" Oh, right. Car, Shori, he must have dozed off and had _that_ dream again. "Where are we?"

"The Kokakuro. This is the restaurant that my friend recommended to me. Apparently this is a popular place with high level politicians and famous people come here often. It's a good place to be seen." Shori tossed her long black hair back over her shoulder as she undid her seat belt. "At least a good place to get noticed." A smirk pulled at the corner of her lips.

Hisoka blinked at the slight mixture of bitterness and smugness that he was picking up from the woman, but it quickly faded and she turned and gave him a warm smile.

"So, are you ready for dinner?"


	8. Chapter 8

I'm sorry to have taken so long to get this out, but I've been swamped! I will do my very best to get the next chapter out a little sooner.

Of course, that might be a little easier if I had any idea where this story is going...

Hugs and flowers to everyone who is still hanging in there!

**Chapter 8**

"No, I haven't seen him."

Disappointment crossed Watari's expressive face at Oryia's words. "Are you sure?"

Oriya looked mildly annoyed. "If Tsuzuki-san had been here today, I would tell you. He hasn't. Now if you'll excuse me…" Oriya turned to enter the dinning room where his patrons were enjoying their meals, but stopped in his tracks in the entrance way.

Watari looked at Oriya strangely, taking in his dumbstruck expression and moved behind him to look out over his shoulder. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened.

Sitting there, as if he hadn't a care in the world was their missing shinigami. Holding his chopsticks lightly he seemed to be focusing on what was being said to him by an attractive woman sitting across from him. Every so often he would nod his blonde head and reply to something she had said.

For long moments Watari and Oriya both stared at the youth, until he looked up and narrowed green eyes in their direction. The two men pulled back from the doorway and exchanged a glance, both looking shocked.

They spoke at the same time. "Please excuse me!" And turning away from each other they both pulled out cell phones and started dialling.

**XXX**

"Tatsumi desu."

"Tatsumi! It's me!"

"Watari-san?"

"Aa. He's here Tatsumi, he's here!"

"You found Tsuzuki?"

"No, not Tsuzuki, it's bon! Bon's here with some lady I've never seen before!"

For a moment Tatsumi said nothing, stunned. "Are you sure it's him Watari?"

"Of course I'm sure, I'm looking right at him!"

"Alright, stay with him, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"I will. What the?…Bon!"

"Watari?"

Tatsumi looked down at his phone. The connection had been cut off. He had to get to the Kokakuro.

**XXX**

"Muraki desu."

"Muraki, it's me."

"Oriya?"

"He's here!"

"Nani?"

"The bouya! He's here now, with some woman I've never seen before."

Muraki glanced over at his reluctant companion, who wasn't paying too much attention to his conversation. Muraki turned away from the other man and spoke softly into his phone. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure." Oriya hissed back. "There's another shinigami here too, the doctor one."

"That would be Watari-san then." Muraki considered, if he didn't act fast the shinigami could possibly reclaim Hisoka, and Muraki knew that Tsuzuki would disappear once his partner was safely back in Meifu. He had to reach the bouya first. Besides, he wasn't finished with his doll. "Alright Oriya, try to stall Watari-san, and keep an eye on the bouya. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Alright, I'll do my…Hey wait!"

"Oriya?"

Muraki stared down at his phone. The connection had been cut off. He had to get to the Kokakoru.

**XXX**

Shori talked non-stop as their food was brought to their table. Hisoka looked around the room and was rather impressed. There were several low round tables spread throughout the room, the lighting was low, but the atmosphere was warm and soothing. Around the edges of the dining room there were screens that Hisoka assumed separated private dining areas from the rest of the room.

Starting to relax Hisoka took a bite of his meal, please to find that it tasted as good as it looked. Paying minimal attention to Shori's ramblings (how could that woman keep up a steady monologue and eat at the same time?) he slowly ate his fill of his own dinner.

He had finished about half of what was on his plate when he felt a strong wave of shock and recognition; it seemed to be coming from more than one source. Looking up, he saw two men standing in the doorway of the dining room staring directly at him.

Recognition? They knew him? He narrowed his eyes and both men drew back from the doorway.

But they didn't go away.

Hisoka started at the blonde man peeking out at him through the door to the dinning room, talking excitedly into a cell phone. There was something about him…

_**Pain.**_

Hisoka blinked.

_**A fever pitch of pain, his heartbeat pounding in his ears, fast, too fast. Lines of pain running over and through the entirety of his body, cresting into a crescendo that screamed through him…**_

Lowering his head into his hands Hisoka let out a low moan.

_**A sense of finality…**_

"Are you alright?" Shori looked over at him with concern. She reached over to touch him, but he pushed his chair back and stumbled to his feet, shaking.

_**Relief…**_

"Bon!" The blonde man had stepped into the room and was approaching, radiating waves of concern.

_**And nothingness…**_

Hisoka turned and ran.

**XXX**

Tsuzuki released his fuda bird just moments before Muraki tucked his cell phone back into his pocket and turned to face him.

"I'm afraid Tsuzuki-san, something has come up."

Tsuzuki regarded the doctor closely, his composed features gave nothing away. "And?"

A slight smile touched Muraki's lips. "And I'm afraid I'll have to give up the search for a while, a few hours at most, will you wait for me?"

"No."

The smile grew into a smirk. "Ah, Tsuzuki-san, you are so cruel. Very well, when I have finished my business I'll just have to catch up with you."

Tsuzuki turned away without comment and began to walk away. After a few paces he looked back over his shoulder at Muraki, who hadn't moved. "You said you had business?"

"Of course, I will see you later Tsuzuki-san."

Tsuzuki continued to walk away. "Not if I can help it."

"Don't worry," Muraki's voice was light and mocking. "You can't."

**XXX**

Watari nearly ran into the tall dark-haired man as he ran out of the Kokakuro in pursuit of the fleeing youth. A strong hand caught his arm and saved him from landing in a heap.

"Where are you going Watari-san?"

"Tatsumi!"

Tatsumi raised an eyebrow behind his glasses.

"Which way did he go?" Watari looked around wildly his blonde hair spilling loose from its customary ponytail.

"Which way?"

"Bon just ran out here, did you see which way he went?"

"No, I must have missed him." Tatsumi looked both directions. "You go to the left, I'll take the right."

Watari nodded and ran off the way Tatsumi had indicated. Tatsumi hurried in the opposite direction.

**XXX**

Hisoka ran for a long time before he collapsed in a heap at the base of a tree, trying to out run the…what? Vision? Memory? _It felt like dying!_ He could still feel traces of remembered pain over his body.

Curling in on himself, wrapping his arms around his knees as if trying to disappear into the rough bark behind him

"_**Welcome to Ju-on-cho."**_

Hisoka's head shot up and he looked around a little wildly, he was still alone, but he could almost see himself sitting in a small room across a desk from an older man with a serious demeanour.

Blinking Hisoka tried to capture the image. The man was wearing a blue suit, a little wrinkled. Brown hair fell down over thick eyebrows and brown eyes that regarded him steadily.

"_**This is where the souls of the dead are judged. To help keep the Ju-On-Cho running smoothly, Enma-cho employs eighteen shinigami, or guardians of death. It is a prestigious position. Enma-sama has extended you an opportunity to become a shinigami, this is a rare honour."**_

To become a what?

"_**Shinigami have the ability to travel between Meifu and Chijou…"**_

"_**No."**_

"No."

He said the word aloud even as he said it in the memory. He was confused, he didn't understand what he was seeing. Dropping his head into his hands he tried to block it out.

Just a few moments of peace...

"There you are bouya."

Hisoka looked up into the familiar silver blue eyes of the man in white.

"Kazutaka."


	9. Chapter 9

See? For me this was a super quick chapter!

**Reminders/explanations, things to keep in mind: **

1) Hisoka never actually introduced himself to Shori. When he started to she interrupted him, "Your brother called you Hisoka." Since she believes Tsuzuki Asato is his brother, she would naturally assume that 'Tsuzuki' is his family name.

2) Just because Hisoka is remembering some things, he does not have all his memories back. Nor will he understand everything he remembers.

3) I own nothing but the kitchen sink.

Enjoy!

**Chapter 9**

"There you are bouya."

Hisoka looked up into the familiar silver blue eyes of the man in white.

"Kazutaka."

Muraki took a step closer as Hisoka pushed himself into a standing position, using the tree for support. "Why did you leave?"

Hisoka looked away. "You were angry, and you wanted to… to…"

"You thought I would hurt you."

At that Hisoka looked back, green eyes narrowing. "No, I _knew_ you would."

Muraki sighed. "Come bouya, I'll take you home." He turned away and began walking as if he expected Hisoka to follow him, and Hisoka had to fight the urge to do so. In spite of the darkness in the man, in spite of the fact he was afraid of him, Kazutaka was someone familiar in a world that was spinning rapidly out of control.

And there was a strong desire to just let the man take him home.

Home.

But…

That place was not home.

_Home is where Tsuzuki is._

The thought snapped Hisoka back to reality and he realized that he had taken several steps after Muraki. He started to turn away, then stopped.

Muraki looked back over his shoulder coming to a halt when he saw that Hisoka had stopped moving. "Is something wrong?"

"A math problem."

"And what would that be?" Muraki asked, raising an eyebrow in mild perplexation.

"I remember being thirteen."

Muraki nodded.

"And you've told me that I'm sixteen now."

Muraki nodded again.

Hisoka clenched his hands into tight fists. "So how can six years have passed?" He held Muraki's gaze willing the man to come up with a reasonable explanation. "What happened to me?"

In an instant, Muraki's whole demeanour changed. A predatory smile formed on his lips and menace began to radiate off him.

Hisoka's eyes widened at the newly perceived threat and he began to back away slowly, 'til he came up against the tree where he had collapsed earlier.

Muraki advanced on him, a slow steady pace, and Hisoka shivered seeing the ice in his gaze. "So you noticed that little discrepancy did you? You want to know what happened to you? Let me show you."

Muraki reached out and Hisoka flinched back, rapping his head off the trunk of the tree hard enough to see stars. In that moment of disorientation, Muraki brushed his fingers across Hisoka's forehead and Hisoka screamed as burning lines of pain spread along the length of his body.

"This is what happened to you."

Hisoka barely registered the words as they were spoken, it took everything he had just to stay on his feet as the pain tore across his nerve endings. Through his shirt, he could see red lines glowing through the thin fabric.

"Now bouya…" Muraki began, but cut off as the shadows around Hisoka, stirred and erupted from the ground, forcing him to fall back. Muraki scowled, but decided that retreat was preferable to facing the man behind the moving shadows. Tatsumi Seiichiro was a formidable adversary by himself, and he already knew that Watari was somewhere nearby, besides, he had reactivated his curse, he wouldn't loose track of the boy again.

Hisoka collapsed for a second time as the wave of blackness swelled around him, he felt Muraki's presence flicker and depart. His vision blurred as he gasped for breath, and he was vaguely aware of several people rushing towards him, a tall man in a dark blue suit, the blonde who had been peeking at him earlier, and…

**XXX**

The pained scream that ripped through the early evening gave them a direction, and Tatsumi and Watari's paths merged as they ran full tilt towards the dwindling sound.

Tatsumi saw them first, the small figure pinned to the tree by the presence of the man in white. Tatsumi sent his power surging into the boy's own shadow, causing it to flare, pushing Muraki back. Tatsumi watched as Muraki scowled and disappeared.

"Damn!" Tatsumi's fingers twitched. He would have preferred a chance to use his shadows on the man fully.

He allowed the shadow to fall back to its natural position, revealing the collapsed form barely hanging on to consciousness.

Both Tatsumi and Watari came to a halt beside the shivering figure, Watari reaching out to him. "Hey, bon, are…"

"Stop!" Another voice cried out, "Don't touch him!"

**XXX**

Shori had been telling Hisoka about her dance studio when the youth had suddenly moaned and stumbled to his feet, pale and shaking, she had reached out to him, asking if he was alright, but he had turned and run, only to be followed by a stranger with long blonde hair.

Confused and worried, Shori had gotten to her feet and followed after them.

The scream, when she heard it, startled her badly, but she recognized it as her companions' voice, and hurried after it. Whatever was happening to him now, she felt partly responsible, after all, she had brought him here.

She found him laying at the base of a tree with the blonde and another man looming over him.

"Stop!"

Both men paused, looking up at her.

"Don't touch him!"

She reached Hisoka's side and swung her purse at the blonde man.

"Hey!" He exclaimed as he fell back.

Grabbing Hisoka's arm she dragged him up, and supporting the semi-conscious youth she began to back the two of them away.

"Wait."

Shori looked at the tall man, meeting a pair of intense sapphire blue eyes.

"We're his friends, we want to help him."

Shori frowned at him. "Yeah, right. He ran, he chased." She gestured at Watari. "That just screams friendship to me." She continued to back away, pulling Hisoka with her.

Glazed green eyes passed over the two shinigami without reaction.

"Kurosaki-kun." Tatsumi took a step after them.

Shori hissed at him. "Stay back! Just stay away from us!"

Hisoka's head jerked back and he tried to focus on Tatsumi. "Who…" Hisoka's head lolled and he sagged against Shori as his tenuous grasp on consciousness slipped.

Shori kept her gaze locked on the two men as she manoeuvred Hisoka and herself through the parking lot of the Kokakuro to her car. Pulling open the passenger side door, she let Hisoka fall into the seat and closed the door behind him. Still wary, she hurried around the car and got behind the wheel, locking the doors with a sharp 'click'. Starting the car, she pulled out of the lot and pushed the gas petal to the floor.

**XXX**

For several minutes Tatsumi and Watari stared after the rapidly departing vehicle, before turning to look at each other.

"Who was that?" Tatsumi asked.

Watari shrugged. "I have no idea. Should I go after them?"

Tatsumi nodded. "Just keep track of them."

**XXX**

Tsuzuki was sitting on a bench in a nearly deserted park watching the sun lower to the horizon when a flutter of wings drew his attention. He held up his open hand and allowed the delicate 'fuda bird to land on the palm of his hand.

"You know where he is then?"

The bird let out a soft coo and Tsuzuki smiled faintly.

The next moment the park was empty.

**XXX**

_Why wouldn't they let him go? He wanted nothing more than the oblivion that death had offered. He did not want to be a shinigami, he did not want to return to Chijou, there was nothing there for him. _

_After refusing the offer that had been presented to him by Enma's representative, he had been sent to this office where he was treated as nothing more than a filing clerk. He did the work that he was given quietly and effectively, interacting as little as possible with the other people in the office, he didn't want to be around anyone who felt anything… Even if it was just mild curiosity or indifference._

_But even he couldn't completely avoid the gossip that travelled around the office._

"…_was thought to be a death caused by an illness, but now that's being questioned."_

"_How did you get access to the unsolved case files anyway?"_

"_That's a secret. Do you want to hear about this or not?"_

"_Of course. Why would a natural death be questioned?"_

"_Well, the exact illness was never identified, and it lasted for three years…"_

_His head shot up as his co-workers discussed, what to them was merely an interesting case, but to him…_

"_Now there is speculation that it was not an illness at all, but a curse."_

"_A curse?"_

"_Yup. That's what brought it to the attention of the higher ups, for someone who so young to be murdered by a deliberate curse…"_

"_How young?"_

"_Just sixteen…"_

_His head was spinning, he knew they were talking about him, he knew it! But how could he have been murdered? And why? Why would anyone want to kill him? He had never harmed anyone in his life, even if he had had the desire to, he never would have had the opportunity._

_For almost a whole week he moved in a daze, his co-workers conversation playing over and over again in his mind._

_And finally he came to a decision._

_The tall heavy set man in the lightly wrinkled suit entered the office where he had been asked to wait._

"_Enma-sama has instructed that we extend our offer to you one more time before you are allowed to pass on."_

_He nodded. "I'll do it."_

_There was a shift and he found himself outside among the sakura trees, once again facing the tree where his doubles waited. He shook his head trying to get his bearings._

_The child that was him was franticly tearing at the bonds of the captive form._

"_We're so close! C'mon, just a little more…"_

_Green eyes widened as he took in the state of the chains, there were hair-thin cracks running through the links, and the chains themselves looked corroded and ready to fall apart._

_He grabbed the chains and started pulling as franticly as the child had been doing before, and the resulting movement caused the gag to slip._

_The green eyes of the bound figure, identical to his own, blinked in surprise and he let out a cry._

"_Free me!"_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

It was full dark when Tsuzuki knocked on the door of the Kokakuro.

Oriya answered the door personally. "Of course." he muttered, seeing Tsuzuki standing there. "Your friends are out back."

Tsuzuki tilted his head in confusion, but followed Oriya back through the restaurant to the back gardens.

"I believe they're that way." Oriya pointed off to the left and then went back inside, closing the door behind him and leaving Tsuzuki to his own devices. Tsuzuki looked after him for a moment, then shrugged and hurried off in the direction that Oriya had indicated.

He almost ran into Tatsumi before he noticed him. The secretary was standing in the dark, unmoving, staring off towards the parking lot.

"Tatsumi! What are you doing here?"

Tatsumi turned at the sound of Tsuzuki's voice and fixed him with a recriminating glare. "Where have you been all day?"

Tatsumi listened to the muttered excuses until he caught the word 'Muraki'.

"You've seen that damn doctor?"

Tsuzuki fidgeted. "Yes."

"When?"

"Most of the day, he's looking for Hisoka too. He took off about an hour ago, he said he had to take care of some business."

"That we know." Tatsumi stated calmly, "He showed up here, attacked Kurosaki-kun and disappeared again."

Tsuzuki's violet eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. "That was his business?"

"Apparently."

"Is Hisoka alright? Where is he?" Tsuzuki looked around as if he expected his partner to step out of the darkness.

"He's gone."

Violet eyes locked on Tatsumi.

"A woman took him away, she was suspicious of us and wouldn't let us near him."

"Us?"

"Watari and I. Tsuzuki, there's something wrong with Kurosaki." Tatsumi pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, avoiding the worried violet eyes riveted on him.

"Wrong? Like what?"

"He ran from Watari, Tsuzuki."

"He ran, but why?"

"I don't know, and that lady dragged him off before we were able to learn anything."

"And now he's gone again."

Tatsumi placed his fingers beneath Tsuzuki's chin and lifted until he could meet the despairing eyes. "Don't worry so much Tsuzuki. Watari is following them and he'll let us know if anything happens."

"But I should…"

"And you will, but not right now. Right now you are going to go home and get some sleep, and you **will** show up for work in the morning." Tatsumi let a very small smile touch his lips. "Then I will send you out to relieve Watari."

For a moment Tsuzuki looked like he was going to protest, but then he nodded. "Thank you Tatsumi."

**XXX**

"_Free me!"_

Hisoka awoke with a start and bolted upright.

"Are you okay?"

"Shori?" He looked over to see Shori looking at him with concern before turning her attention back to the road. "What happened?" He tried to remember, but everything scattered as he tried to call the memories to mind. He remembered Kazutaka was there, but not the way he remembered him, or was he? And there were other men there… The blonde from the Kokakuro and another, rather intimidating man. And pain, he remembered lots of pain. He could also remember the dreams, but they seemed hazy and far away, people talking, about him? About somebody who had been murdered. And the sakura grove again. He had been so close, the chains were falling apart, but he still hadn't been able to break them.

"I don't know what happened, but you've been out of it for a long time." Shori's voice drew him out of his musings. "Its morning and we just got into Kumoto about twenty minutes ago. I decided not to stop in Osaka after all."

Hisoka turned to look out the window at the passing scenery but his didn't see anything that seemed familiar. He shook his head at himself, he really didn't expect any different, or so he tried to tell himself. He yawned and stretched his arms over his head…

And was nearly thrown to the floor as the car skidded and slammed to a stop.

"Oh my god!" Shori grabbed his wrist and pushed the sleeve further up his arm and they both looked in amazement at the red lines trailing their way up under the shirt. "What did they do to you?"

"I…I…"

"I'd better get you to a hospital!" Shori pulled the car back out into traffic with a determined expression on her face.

Alarm bells went off in Hisoka's mind. "No, I don't think…"

"Don't argue!" Shori interrupted. "You need help!"

It took less than ten minutes for Shori to find what she was looking for.

Hisoka looked up at the large modern building as Shori dragged him out of the car and to the entrance.

Jikei Hospital.

He had such a bad feeling about this…

**XXX**

Muraki climbed out of bed, not in the best of moods. The previous evening did not go the way he had planned. Frowning he cursed the shadow master for his interference. By now his doll would be tucked away in Meifu, safely out of his reach. Well, as far out of his reach as they could get him, the boy was never _completely _safe from him. And with that thought Muraki reached out to feel for the curse he had placed on Hisoka, his strings…

And froze.

And smiled.

The bouya was still on Chijou.

A chuckle escaped his lips, it seems he had one more chance to bring his wayward puppet home. His mood considerably lightened, Muraki hurried to get dressed.

**XXX**

The morning light fell bight and warm on the Jo-On-Cho, and the employees of Enma-cho got the shock of a lifetime as they watched Tsuzuki stride into the building, early.

"I think Hell just froze over." Terazuma Hajime muttered into his morning coffee, only to receive a reprimanding smack on the arm from his partner.

Tsuzuki went straight to Tatsumi's office without acknowledging his co-workers, rapped on the door once and entered at Tatsumi's summons.

Tatsumi spoke as Tsuzuki stopped in front of his desk. "Watari called just a little while ago, they just entered Kumoto, so I can send you to replace him without having to make any justifications, since they're now officially in the Kyushu region." He looked up to see that Tsuzuki looked…troubled.

"Ah, Tatsumi, there's something I'd like to ask you about… About Hisoka…"

Tatsumi pushed his papers to the side and leaned forward. "And what would that be?"

"Well Muraki said some things…"

Tatsumi raised an eyebrow.

"That Hisoka isn't…that he's…not human. That he's…he's…" Tsuzuki head was bowed so low that his words were nearly inaudible, but Tatsumi had sharp ears. "…like me."

"And?"

Tsuzuki looked up surprised. "And?"

"Is Muraki right?" Tatsumi leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "You know Kurosaki-kun better than anyone, you should know by now what he is and what he isn't. So…"

A momentary look of confusion melted into a genuine smile. "It doesn't matter. Hisoka is Hisoka. That's enough."

Tatsumi returned the smile. "Good. Now, Watari's been out all night, so you are ordered to relieve him. Go get your partner."

Tsuzuki stood up and had taken only a few steps towards the door when Tatsumi's phone rang.

"Tatsumi desu."

A pause.

"Yes, Tsuzuki was just on his way."

Tsuzuki turned back towards the desk, taking in Tatsumi's rather startled looking expression.

"Fine, I'll see you soon then." He ended the phone call and turned his attention back to Tsuzuki. "They're at Jikei Hospital. Watari's waiting for you in the lobby."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Muraki paused and looked up at the building. Had it really been less than three weeks since he was a patient here? So much had happened so quickly…

He avoided entering the hospital through the front doors, through the glass he could see Watari pacing the lobby and he didn't want to announce his presence, not yet anyway. It took very little effort to find another entrance as there were many ways into the building, and his documentation would identify him as a doctor if anyone stopped him to ask.

Although he had spent several weeks in Jikei hospital, he had not seen very much of the building, so when he passed a familiar hallway, he turned down it. Soon he was pausing outside of the room where he had awoken after his accident, his mind a blank, his past gone.

Where he had first felt the nearly physical draw to his doll, where he had peered out of the door for a glimpse of the green-eyed youth.

Passing the room Muraki continued down the hall, he feet following a path he had followed once before, until he reached the corridor outside the ICU. He remembered the boy laying on the floor, barely clinging to consciousness, the violet eyed man nearby, crumpled on the floor against the wall. _And I had thought he was dead!_

He remembered the feeling of possessiveness that had flared when he saw the living shadows descending on the small, defenceless form.

_Mine!_

Muraki paused, looking down the hallway, as if he expected the shadow to shift and covalence.

_But that darkness is a part of me._

A feeling of loss settled upon him, as if something he wanted had just slipped through his fingers

_I don't want…_

He pushed the feeling aside and headed back the way he had come. He knew who he was and it was far too late to change that now.

**XXX**

Hisoka sat in the little examination room on a paper covered table shooting annoyed glances at his companion, whom the hospital staff had allowed to follow him into the room. Not that he really thought they'd have been able to stop her.

An older nurse stepped into the room and stopped dead, looking at Hisoka.

"Kurosaki-kun! Is that you?"

Hisoka and Shori both looked up in surprise.

"Do you know me?" Hisoka asked hesitantly.

"Of course!" The nurse replied, coming further into the room. "You may have only been a volunteer here for a few days, but you made an impression." The nurse gave him a warm smile.

Shori looked confused. "Kurosaki?"

Hisoka turned to her. "What?"

She shook her head. "But your brother's name is…"

"Brother?" The nurse looked back at Hisoka who was beginning to look a little panicked. "You didn't have a brother, did you?"

Shori pulled on his sleeve. "Hisoka-kun?"

Hisoka jumped down off the table, he wasn't even sure who was confused anymore, was it Shori, the nurse or him? "I gotta get out for a while!"

"Oh no, you can't go yet!" Shori pulled him back down with her usual determination. "The doctor has to look at you first!"

The nurse nodded her agreement. "Why don't you tell me what brought you here, and I can get anything the doctor may need ready."

"I don't…" Hisoka began, but Shori caught hold of his wrist and pushed his sleeve back to his elbow.

"We need someone to take a look at this."

The nurse's eyes widened as she stared at the lines decorating Hisoka's arm. She took his wrist from Shori and pushed his sleeve up even further. "How far does this extend?"

Hisoka flinched backwards as she reached for the collar of his shirt. "Okay! That. Is. Enough!" He jumped off the table for a second time and backed towards the door, keeping a wary eye on the two women. "I am fine, I will continue to be fine. Shori-san, I thank you for all your help, but I think I can travel the rest of the way on my own." He bowed slightly in her direction and bolted out of the room and down the hall.

Sparing a quick glance behind him he ran straight into a tall man who was just walking into the hallway. The collision knocked both of them to the ground. Hisoka jumped back to his feet with a muttered apology and took off towards the nearest exit.

He had almost made it to the door when his pace began to slow. He came to a stop with one hand on the door, slight tremors running through his frame. Slowly, he turned and looked back. The man was still on the floor, watching after him with a shocked expression on his face. Dark brown hair fell down into the most unusual violet eyes. And looking into those violet eyes felt like…

_Home._

He had taken several hesitant steps back towards the man when someone else stepped into the corridor behind him.

_Kazutaka_.

For several moments green eyes flickered from one man to the other, the need to flee warring with the desperate desire to fling himself at the violet eyed man.

_Who is he?_

**XXX**

Watari was pacing small circles in the centre of the hospital lobby when Tsuzuki finally showed up. He gave his friend a lop-sided grin. "Finally! I'm exhausted!"

"Where are they?" Tsuzuki asked, all worry and nerves.

Watari gestured back towards a hallway leading away from the lobby. "They went back that way, to the examination rooms." He patted Tsuzuki on the back. "Don't worry. Bon is fine if the fuss he was putting up is any indication."

Tsuzuki's mouth quirked upwards. "That bad?"

Watari chuckled. "I almost felt sorry for the lady… Almost, but it looked like she was more stubborn than bon."

"So why did they come here?" Tsuzuki asked, confusion furrowing his brow.

Watari shrugged. "Beats me, I didn't get a chance to look bon over at the Kokakuro. I wanted to of course," He shrugged again. "Very stubborn lady, and very protective."

A real smile turned up Tsuzuki's lips. "I'm glad Hisoka has someone looking out for him, even if it didn't help much." He wondered briefly if the unidentified lady had anything to do with the reason Hisoka hadn't returned to Meifu, he supposed he would find out in just a few minutes, he thought, shrugging mentally.

"So, if you don't need me Tsuzuki," Watari stretched his arms up above his head. "I really need to get some sleep. I'm not used to flying for such a prolonged period of time."

Tsuzuki nodded. "Thanks Watari. I'll see you later, 'kay?"

"Absolutely, I expect to see you and bon at work tomorrow." Watari gave him a victory sign, and headed for the nearest exit. Tsuzuki watched after him for a moment before turning down the hallway that the scientist had pointed out as the way Hisoka had gone.

Walking briskly, Tsuzuki rounded a corner only to have the wind knocked out of him as he collided with something solid. The impact knocked him backwards and with a startled 'oof' he landed hard on his backside.

The other figure mumbled an apology in a very familiar voice, jumped up and quickly headed away. In a state of shock Tsuzuki could do little more than watch, his mouth hanging open, as his partner hurried towards the exit, his steps slowing, until he finally came to stop with one hand on the door.

He watched as Hisoka slowly turned around, looking a little dazed, emerald green eyes wide with confusion.

He watched as Hisoka took a few steps towards him, and stopped, his eyes flickering up to something behind him, and as much as Tsuzuki wanted to turn and see what was behind him that made indecisiveness fill those green eyes, he couldn't bring himself to look away from the form of his much missed partner.

"Hisoka-kun."

Tsuzuki flinched at the voice that sounded behind him. But that familiar voice didn't resound with its normally silky and slightly mocking tone, instead, Muraki's voice sounded soft, gentle and sad. He noticed that Hisoka had flinched as well.

"What do you want with me?" Hisoka's voice was little more than a whisper. "Why are you following me? Why won't you just leave me alone?"

It hurt Tsuzuki to hear his partner sounding so vunerable.

"Because you are mine bouya, I told you that I would keep you and that's a promise that I don't intend to break."

At those words Tsuzuki turned to glare up at the man in white. "He is not yours."

Muraki ignored him. "You've been running blindly bouya, but where are you going? Come home with me now and I'll tell you everything you want to know."

Tsuzuki climbed to his feet. "He's not going anywhere with you Muraki." He reached out a hand to the empath. "Hisoka…" He looked over at the youth and almost fell over in shock. He was so used to stoicism from his partner that the myriad of emotions playing through the emerald eyes shook him to the core. Longing, fear, hope, confusion and indecision were all clearly evident in the bewildered eyes that moved between him and the doctor. Finally his gaze locked with Tsuzuki's own.

"Who are you?"

The question knocked the wind out of Tsuzuki and it was Muraki who answered.

"His name is Tsuzuki Asato. He is Shinigami, a guardian of death, and he is here for you Hisoka-kun."

Hisoka's eyes widened. "Oh. That makes sense." He said softly before his small frame crumpled to the ground.

Muraki took a step towards the collapsed form only to be blocked by Tsuzuki who stood in his way, violet eyes flashing with anger. "What did you do to him Muraki? Why didn't he know who I was?"

Muraki smiled and stepped in close to Tsuzuki. "He seems to have forgotten you Tsuzuki-san, perhaps you just weren't important enough to him for him to remember. He remembers me after all."

Something flickered in the depths of the violet eyes and he pushed Muraki away from him. "Leave Hisoka alone!"

"Hardly." Muraki chuckled softly, closing the distance between them once again. "He belongs to me, and someday…" Muraki raised his hand and ran it caressingly down the side of Tsuzuki's face. "So will you."

Tsuzuki swatted the hand away as he backed away from the touch. He quickly turned and scooped up Hisoka into his arms. Hisoka stirred and green eyes flickered open, not truly focusing on anything, then closed again.

"I want to go home…"

The soft words were uttered with such longing that Tsuzuki ached in sympathy and he almost dropped his partner when a moment later he began to scream.

Muraki approached for a third time, cursing softly under his breath. "Quick bring him…" but he was cut off as doctors, nurses and other hospital staff came running into the hallway.

"What's all the noise out here?"

"Is someone hurt?"

Tsuzuki repeated Muraki's earlier curse under his breath, he couldn't just teleport them out of there with this many people around.

"Please don't be alarmed, it's only a seizure." Muraki was effectively clearing the curious and concerned crowd out of the hallway. "I am his doctor, he'll be fine." He turned to a young nurse. "Do you think you could assist me?"

She blushed slightly as she nodded. "Of course."

Muraki grabbed Tsuzuki's arm and dragged him and his burden into the nearest empty examination room, the nurse following behind them.

Muraki relinquished his grip and moved to a supply cupboard to look over the contents. Picking up a vial and an empty syringe, he quickly filled it and once again approached the pair.

Tsuzuki eyed him suspiciously, tightening his grip on Hisoka and backing away slightly.

Muraki sighed. "It's a painkiller, unless you enjoy the sound of the bouya's screams."

Tsuzuki shook his head silently and allowed Muraki to come closer.

"Could you please hold his arm still?" Muraki asked the nurse who nodded and hurried forward to do as she was bid.

Tsuzuki watched as the needle slid into the restrained arm and Muraki pushed the plunger, removed the syringe and disposed of it.

In a few seconds Hisoka's screams had become cries and soon he fell silent. Tsuzuki slumped in relief still cradling the younger man.

Muraki turned to the nurse. "Could you please help Tsuzuki-san put the bouya to bed, he should sleep for several hours after the sedative I gave him, and stay with them, if anything happens page me right away."

The nurse nodded. "Is there anything else?"

"No, but make sure that you keep a close eye on them, if the bouya has another seizure while under the effect of the sedative he will need immediate attention." Muraki turned away from the nurse to face Tsuzuki and smirked. "I'm afraid you'll have to stay here for a while Tsuzuki-san, but don't worry, I'll be ready to take the bouya home soon. That is where he said he wished to go, correct?"

Tsuzuki glared at man in white, who ignored the frigid expression.

"I'll be back to check on him in a little while." Muraki told the nurse as he stepped out of the room.

The nurse approached Tsuzuki. "Tsuzuki-san?"

Tsuzuki looked at her and nodded.

"Let's get him into bed where he can rest comfortably." The nurse gestured to Hisoka.

Unable to think of anything else he could do, Tsuzuki followed the nurses' suggestion and laid Hisoka in a nearby bed. He perched himself at the foot of it.

"Would you like a chair?" The nurse asked hesitantly.

Tsuzuki shook his head. "No, I'm fine." He wondered how he was going to get rid of the nurse so he could teleport Hisoka and himself out of there before Muraki returned.


	12. Chapter 12

Look! She finally wrote another chapter, I guess we don't have to lynch her right away…

Maybe next time!

Well, she was all prepared to let the heroes of the story find their way home together and have a happily ever after, but I couldn't allow that… it's too soon, there has not been enough suffering yet.

So, she owns nothing, she never will, and there are quotes from both the anime and the magnas scattered throughout Hisoka's dream.

And if she takes this long to get the next chapter out, don't worry, I'll kick her!

-Jennamarie's evil twin-

**Chapter 12**

_The sakura petals were falling from the trees in a thick cloud, swirled around by an errant breeze. So thick that they almost obscured the figures huddled together at the base of THAT tree. He hurried towards them, brushing the clinging petals out of his face_

_The chains, the chains were corroded. The chains were cracked. And he could feel a sense of urgency running through him, he could see it mirrored in two other sets of green eyes. He grabbed the chains and pulled with every ounce of strength he had._

"_I want to go home!"_

_With a loud crack the chains broke, and he was falling backwards with the sakura petals, falling…_

_He closed his eyes expecting the ground to hit him._

_But he was still falling._

"_**This is your first assignment, there has been an abnormal rise in the number of unnatural deaths in Nagasaki, you are to go to Chijou and investigate, your partner will join you there."**_

"_**Partner?"**_

"_**Shinigami work in pairs…"**_

_He was still falling…_

"**_Don't move!"_**

"_**Aren't you mistaking me for someone?"**_

"_**Keep your hands up, turn around slowly."**_

_Sill falling…_

"_**You idiot! Why did you come to save me? This is a trap!"**_

"_**It doesn't mean I can leave you like this!"**_

"_**Tsuzuki…"**_

_Falling…_

"_**Why for me? Why…? I'm …just"**_

"_**Because you're my partner."**_

_It hit him._

_Hard._

_It was too much all at once, it HURT!_

_Memories of pain, hurt, loss and betrayal…_

_Memories of hope, warmth, comfort and love…_

_It HURT!_

"_**Your pale skin goes well with your red blood."**_

"_**I want to help Tsuzuki too!"**_

_Chocolate brown hair falling haphazardly over violet eyes filled with warmth and promises, arms that wrapped around him…_

_Arms that wrapped around him, silver blue eyes leering at him from a pale face shrouded by pale hair under a blood red moon, pain and fear…_

"_**You hate him this much, even after death? You still hurt this much even now? Doesn't that prove that you'll be cursed forever?"**_

_Somewhere he was screaming…_

_Then, mercifully, it began to fade…_

_Becoming numb…_

_And he sank into a void of blackness…_

_**Come to me my poppet…**_

**XXX**

Tsuzuki watched the nurse putter around the room straightening things up, putting things away, generally keeping herself busy in the small room while presenting a small problem in his plans to leave with his partner. He let out a deep sigh and the nurse turned to look over at him and give him a reassuring smile.

Hisoka shifted in the bed and made a small noise, drawing the nurses' attention to him.

"What in the world is that?" The nurse asked as red lines began to glow against his pale skin.

Tsuzuki floundered, what could he tell her?

Hisoka began to move restlessly in his sleep, suddenly green eyes shot open and he began gasping for breath.

"Hisoka!"

The nurse shoved Tsuzuki out of the way and leaning over the bed pressed a red button there. "Tsuzuki-san, could you please leave the room?"

Tsuzuki shook his head in a blant refusal. "I'm not leaving."

The nurse shot him a glare, but didn't repeat her request. She grabbed and tried to restrain Hisoka's arms which had begun to twitch sporadically as he tried to draw air into his starving lungs.

Tsuzuki moved forward as Hisoka began to struggle in earnest, but before he could move the nurse away from his partners' side, the door flew open and several more people rushed into the room, doctors nurses, orderlies, they all seemed to be franticly busy the moment they entered the room.

"What's happening?" One doctor asked, taking charge of the situation, brushing the nurse and Tsuzuki aside as he attempted to aid the gasping youth.

"His doctor sedated him but he's gone into respiratory distress," the nurse supplied.

"Who's his doctor?"

The nurse opened up her mouth t reply then flushed as she realized she didn't have the doctors' name.

"That man was not his doctor!" Tsuzuki grated out harshly.

The doctor spared a quick look over his shoulder. "And who are you?"

"He's Hisoka-kun's brother." A helpful voice supplied from the doorway.

Tsuzuki and the doctor both turned to see a young woman standing in the doorway. "Who are you?" Tsuzuki and the doctor asked at the same time.

"My name is Kano Shiori, I brought Hisoka here."

The doctor nodded curtly before turning his attention back to Hisoka.

Tsuzuki looked closely at Shiori. "Have I met you somewhere?"

Shiori blushed slightly. "I hit you with a potted plant."

It still took Tsuzuki a moment to make the connection. "I remember! You were Hisae's student!"

Shiori nodded. "Until her brother died."

Tsuzuki nodded. _And when we stayed at Hisae's place, Hisoka introduced himself as my little brother!_

The thought drew Tsuzuki's attention back to his partner and he turned in time to see the orderlies using the sheet under Hisoka as a sling under the doctors' direction "…and lift…" Raising him gently they moved him over and lowered him gently onto a gurney.

"Hey! Where are you taking him?"

Hisoka's eyes were closed and he seemed to be unconscious once again.

"We're taking him to a different examination room, one with more equipment so that we can figure out what's wrong with him."

"No! Wait…"

Before Tsuzuki was able to finish voicing his protests, Hisoka had been wheeled out of the room and whisked down the hallway.

Tsuzuki moved to follow but his path was blocked by an orderly. "Sir, I'm afraid that you can't go with them now, don't worry they'll…"

Tsuzuki pushed past the man into the hallway, but the gurney that had born his partner was already out of sight.

"Tsuzuki-san?" Shiori reached out and touched his arm. He looked down at her.

"He'll be fine, the doctors will take good care of him, why don't we go back out to the waiting room?"

Tsuzuki shook his head in frustration. "He doesn't need a doctor. There's nothing they can do for him. If I could just take him home…"

Shiori laughed slightly. "It seems the two of you are on the same wave length anyway!"

"What do you mean?" Tsuzuki asked, giving her a quizzical look.

"That's how he came to be traveling with me, he said he wanted to go home and I just happened to be going in the right direction."

Tsuzuki looked down the hallway, trying to decide which direction he should try. "Did he say where home is?"

Shiori actually did laugh at that. "I asked him that exact question and he told me home is where Tsuzuki is."

"He said that?" Tsuzuki asked, tuning back to Shiori with hopeful eyes.

Shiori nodded, wondering at how a person could look happy and sad at the same time.

Tsuzuki took Shiori's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Thank you for your help, and if he doesn't get a chance to say it himself, I'm sure that Hisoka thanks you as well."

Shiori smiled. "I'm glad I could help."

Tsuzuki returned the smile before hurrying away.

**XXX**

The orderlies had only just moved Hisoka into the new bed when the door to the examination room was pushed open and a man in white entered the room.

"Excuse me sir, but you can't…" The doctor began.

"I am Dr. Muraki, and the bouya here is a patient of mine." Muraki moved over to the side of the bed and looked down on the silent form lying therein. "I'll take over his care from here."

The doctor gave Muraki a speculative look, but reluctantly retreated. "Very well. Do you need any assistance?"

Muraki gave the man a reassuring smile as he shook his head. "No, it's fine. This is not uncommon, for the bouya to 'pitch a fit' as they say. I have dealt with it before and he'll be alright. For now, I'll stay with him."

The doctor looked relieved. "Alright then." The doctor bowed his head slightly and left the room followed by the orderlies and nurse.

Muraki closed the door behind them when a moan drew him back to the bed.

Hisoka blinked, only to find Muraki looming over him. He scurried backwards only to come up against the head of the bed, images of the night when he was thirteen flashed through his mind, memories of being tied with strands of woman's hair cutting into his flesh, nearly bled to death as Muraki leered at him, Muraki taking Tsuzuki away in a hail of falling feathers and…

Muraki shielding him from the shadow creatures attack, opening his eyes to a gentle kiss on his forehead to find Muraki hovering above him. Trying to push away his own conflicting emotions, Hisoka grabbed onto his anger, glaring at the doctor.…

Muraki smiled softly in the face of the empath's rage. "So you're finally awake."

Hisoka let out a hissing breath and Muraki chuckled. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"I trusted you." Hisoka spat out the words, leaving a better taste in his mouth. "Tsuzuki warned me not to, Watari warned me, but I put aside everything you've done and trusted you!"

"And therein lies the rub, eh bouya? You've changed in the time you've spent in Tsuzuki-san's presence. You've lost some of your cynicism, forgotten some of the lessons you learned as a child, and it has made you vulnerable."

"You tricked me." Hisoka accused.

"You let me." Muraki returned and then fell back into a chair beside the bed. "But that's not why I took you away with me."

Muraki looked up and Hisoka's eyes widened. There was something indefinable in his eyes, and a lingering sorrow deep under the darkness that was Muraki's soul…

He was sad?

"What did you do to me?"

_**Who am I?**_

Muraki felt a slight frown touch his lips. "Not much really, I just suppressed your memories of the last six years."

Hisoka was frowning himself, he had spent over a week in Muraki's company and the man had been, not his usual sadistic self anyway. "But, why?"

_**Why am I?**_

Muraki shrugged slightly, as if to say he didn't understand it himself. "I wanted to keep you."

Hisoka scowled. "I am not a possession!"

_**But I want to be myself!**_

_Anger, rage, desire, and hate rolled in the darkness that he pulled around himself like a cloak. _

_THEN YOU WILL SUFFER FOR IT._

Hisoka felt the out pouring of negative emotions from Muraki too late, the man's hand lashed out and grabbed a handful of his hair, using it to pull his head back 'till their eyes met.

"You are mine! You were mine before death and you remained mine after. When I had nothing else I still had you! When I knew nothing else I still knew that you were mine!" Muraki's other hand reached out and gripped Hisoka's wrist, the curse flaring to life under his hand, traveling over the length of his body. Hisoka struggled frantically against Muraki's hold to no avail, the pain was becoming more intense. Darkness spread through his vision.

Before the darkness could claim him utterly, he heard the door slam open.

"Let him go!"


	13. Chapter 13

I need to give a giant thanks to Gillie for her help with this chapter, otherwise it would have taken so much longer to come out! I kinda wrote myself into a corner and had no idea what was suppose to happen next, but I think we may be back on track now! I hope it was worth the wait!

**Chapter 13**

"Let him go!"

Muraki released his grip on the blonde hair and the narrow wrist, allowing Hisoka to fall back to the bed before he turned to face the intruder. Violet eyes flashed with anger as he took a forceful step into the room, his dark coat flaring behind him.

"Get away from him!"

"Now Tsuzuki…" Muraki began in a silky drawl, "It wouldn't be prudent to start a fight in a hospital room now, would it? There are so many people here who would be unable to get out of the way if something truly devastating occurred."

Tsuzuki hesitated slightly. "What do you mean?"

Muraki frowned slightly. "This place holds some rather, disturbing memories, and I have little liking for the building itself…"

"Damnit, Muraki, Why can't you just give a straight answer for once?"

Muraki smirked. "Do you remember the Queen Camilla?"

"Of course I remember the Queen Camilla, what does that have to do with…" Violet eyes widened in realization. "You've planted bombs in the building!"

Muraki's smile grew amused. "Congratulations. I see you can put that brain of yours to use." Muraki turned and scooped Hisoka's unconscious form up into his arms. "Now the question becomes will you spend your time fighting with me over the bouya, or will you move to evacuate the hospital and keep several hundred people from dying?"

Tsuzuki gaped.

"There are probably a dozen or so people in the ICU who can't get out under their own power, not to mention the maternity ward, paediatric…"

"Why?" Tsuzuki asked incredulously. "Why are you doing this?" For a split second Tsuzuki thought he saw something in Muraki's eyes, but it was gone before he could identify it. Muraki tilted his head to the side and smiled warmly.

"Because, my dear Tsuzuki-san, I play to win."

Tsuzuki stood frozen in indecision.

"You'd best decide soon Tsuzuki-san. The bouya, or everyone else in this hospital, you don't have much time."

Suddenly there was a muffed boom and the floor shook. Tsuzuki staggered, but managed to keep on his feet. Muraki leaned back against the bed to keep his own balance.

"My mistake. Apparently you have no time."

With a last agonized look at his partners limp form, Tsuzuki turned and ran out of the room thrusting his hand into his pocket as he did.

Muraki watched him go before calmly stepping into the hallway himself. People were running though the corridors, white coats flapping wildly, cries of fear and confusion echoed from every direction. Hisoka stirred

Muraki looked down at delicate features, that were slightly strained even in unconsciousness and the corners of his mouth turned up. "For the moment it seems to be my point bouya." He told the uncomprehending youth. "But even I know that will only last until you're awake again." Weaving lightly through the panicked crowd. "I will have to find another way to gain your co-operation, if we don't want to end up playing the same old game."

Moving with the crowd, swept along through the emergency doors and out into the open air.

"I promised you I would keep you bouya."

Passing from the shadowy overhang of the building.

"And I will."

**XXX**

Tsuzuki ran from the room where his partner was cradled in the arm of his murderer, pulling out his cell phone as he tried not to be swept away by the wave of people running blindly from the effects of the first blast.

"Tatsumi! I need you here now!"

**XXX**

"_Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked softly._

"_What?"_

"_Well, that shadow thing is the embodiment of Muraki's negative emotions, right? "_

_Hisoka nodded._

"_And if we want to keep Muraki the way he is now, we have to destroy it, right? "_

_Hisoka nodded again._

"_So, how do you kill an emotion?"_

_The question floored him and he stumbled slightly in his pace. "I don't know if you can." _

Hisoka stirred restlessly in Muraki's arms before slipping back into dreams.

"_Are you alright bouya?" Asked a voice that he never wanted to hear again._

_Hisoka turned his head and looked at the man who had carved a curse into his skin and had finally killed him._

_But it wasn't. This man looked like Muraki, but Hisoka couldn't feel the deep coldness, the darkness that he always felt when Muraki was around. All he felt from this man was a gentle kind of concern._

"_**So how do you kill an emotion?"**_

"_**I don't think you can."**_

_It was so hard to think as this man as Muraki, he felt so different. Hisoka looked away, unsure what to do. He was alone with Muraki, yet he didn't feel threatened or afraid. In fact he didn't feel any sense of danger. The emotions he could read from the man were concern and worry. Probing deeper he could sense confusion, possessiveness and regret. Hisoka looked away._

"_Is something wrong?"_

"_No, not really, I'm just having a hard time thinking of you as Muraki, you're not the same." Hisoka looked back intensely._

_Muraki gave him a small smile. "Is that a bad thing?"_

"_Hardly," The corner of Hisoka's mouth twitched. "I like you much better this way." He said dryly._

"_So I don't seem like Muraki to you. Very well, then just call me Kazutaka."_

_**So what had happened to the man that he had called Kazutaka?**_

_Kazutaka very slowly leaned down again and placed a gentle kiss on Hisoka's lips._

_Pulling back for a second time he saw surprise, confusion and a little fear shining out at him from the jade eyes._

"_Please don't."_

_He sighed at the whispered words and climbed to his feet._

_Hisoka stared up at him, relived that he had withdrawn. Almost without thinking about it, he reached out with his empathy. He felt gentle ripples of calm, sorrow, and a faint tinge of regret._

_**Where had the warmer emotions that made that man gone?**_

_Muraki looked back over his shoulder as he was dragged away, in time to see Hisoka tolerate another embrace from the violet eyed man. The possessive feeling flared._

'_Mine'_

_Green eyes met silver and narrowed._

_**Buried and smothered beneath memories of anger and hate and a soul deep darkness…**_

**XXX**

Tatsumi stepped out of an allyway almost a block away from Jikei Hospital, Gushoshin hovering just behind his right shoulder. With frightened people streaming from the building and curious onlookers gathering to see the cause of the commotion, the alleyway was the closest point they could teleport to without being seen.

The details that he had gotten from Tsuzuki had been sketchy at best and Tatsumi nearly stopped dead in shock at the sight of plumbs of smoke drifting lazily into the sky from the back of the building and even through the noise of the crowd he could hear the crackle of flames in the distance, as well as the approaching wail of distant sirens.

"What happened here?" Gushoshin asked, his beak hanging open.

"I don't know." Tatsumi stated moving briskly forward. "But Tsuzuki and Kurosaki are in there. We'll find out what happened when we find them."

Gushoshin nodded and hurried to catch up with the secretary, who moved smoothly through the crowd.

Tatsumi looked towards the front of the building and immediately dismissed any idea of using the front entrance, the crowd fleeing through them was too dense, he'd never make it through. He scanned the building looking for another way in. To his left he could see a smaller stream of people coming from an emergency exit and he headed in that direction.

He was within a few feet of the door when the white clad doctor stepped out of the building, moving deftly though the spooked people around him.

The shadows around Tatsumi flared as he recognized Muraki and the limp figure in his arms.

"Going somewhere Doctor?" Tatsumi asked in a cool voice.

Muraki turned to face the new threat with one brow arched in mild surprise. "Well, if it isn't the Shokon's resident shadow master."

Tatsumi folded his arms across his chest, his lips drawn into a tight line. "You seem to have one of my employees there, perhaps you should hand him over."

"Please forgive me if I decline." The corner of Muraki's mouth twitched slightly.

Tatsumi unfolded his arms and took a step closer, the shadows around him flaring menacingly. "Perhaps you misunderstood me. That was not a request."

"Really?" Muraki shrugged lightly, mindful of his burden. "I still see no reason I should comply, it would take you a great deal of time and effort to remove the bouya from me, and you would have to do that before you could attack me openly. Unfortunatly, I'm afraid you don't have the time available just now."

"You think not?"

"In case it has escaped your attention Mr. Secretary, the hospital is on fire, and poor Tsuzuki-san is still inside trying valiantly to save as many lives as he can, and as both you and I are well aware, no matter what I have done, each life that he is unable to save he will blame himself for."

The shadows around Tatsumi rolled in agitation as he looked up at the burning building, then looked back at Muraki. Sapphire blue eyes flickered down to the still form in the doctors' arms before rising to meet the silver blue, filled with ice and venom. "He was a fool to believe you could possibly be good."

Muraki's gaze momentarily touched the unconscious features. "No." He said, almost too softly to be heard as he turned. "He was a fool to believe I could stay that way."

Tatsumi watched the man in white walk away before turning himself in search of his wayward companion. Gushoshin was making his way towards him through the still milling crowd with some difficulty, looking in the direction that Muraki had departed in.

"Tatsumi-san, was that…"

"Yes." Tatsumi told him in a clipped voice. "Follow them. Don't let them out of your sight, but don't let yourself be seen either."

Gushoshin nodded in acknowledgement and hurried off in the direction Muraki had taken while Tatsumi hurried into the hospital.


	14. Chapter 14

Boy, does Hisoka ever dream a lot in this fic!

This chapter took so long to get out! But if it's any consolation, this is the longest chapter I've written for any of my stories, so far.

Thank you for your continued patience, and not lynching me!

And please review! Your reviews are where I get my inspiration when I'm stuck, especially yours Gillie!

**Chapter 14**

Keeping his head low, Tatsumi made his way quickly through the smoke filled hallways of Jikei Hospital. Although the crowds fleeing the building had thinned, there were still forms moving through the suffocating haze, the braver souls who had stayed behind to help those unable to leave under their own power. Rough coughing accompanied these forms as they moved towards the exits and Tatsumi suppressed the urge to do the same as he made his way unerringly towards the place where Tsuzuki was. Through long years of association, Tatsumi knew what the violet-eyed man's shadow felt like, and had been able to pin-point it within minutes of entering the building. For a moment he had considered just transporting directly to where Tsuzuki was, but it was too risky without knowing the man's situation, so he struggled through the smoke and growing heat. He had to hurry, every moment they took, Muraki got further away.

There, that room… Just as Tatsumi was about to reach the doorway a concussive boom hammered into him. The entire building seemed to shake on its foundation nearly knocking him off his feet, and over the ringing in his ears Tatsumi could hear screams of panic and fear. He placed one hand against the wall to steady himself and ignoring the bits of plaster and debris that rained down from the increasingly unstable ceilings.

"Hurry!" The cry came from inside the room and two dust covered men emerged moving a gurney between them, a nurse ran along side carrying an IV bag, her free hand resting on the arm of a comatose young man.

Tatsumi stepped out of their way as they rushed past and turned back towards the room in time to see more people running out, patients being pushed in wheelchairs, supported as they hobbled along as best they could, or even being carried by the hospital staff intent on getting them to safety.

"Is that everybody?" A familiar voice called out as Tsuzuki stepped out into the hallway carrying an unconscious woman.

"Tsuzuki-san!"

Tsuzuki started at his name being called. "Tatsumi!" He rushed up to the shadow master. "We have to get everyone out of here! Muraki planted bombs and the building is on fire!"

Tatsumi regarded the violet eyed man for a short moment. "Take her outside." He nodded at the woman in Tsuzuki's arms. "The fire department is out there, they'll take care of the fire. I'll take care of the bombs."

"How…" Tsuzuki began, but trailed off as the shadows around them shifted and stretched, moving along the wall and floor like liquid silk, moving into every crack and crevice.

"I believe I'll be able to find a way." Tatsumi smirked at the slightly awed look on Tsuzuki's face. "Get going."

Tsuzuki nodded and hurried off down the hallway.

Tatsumi closed his eyes and focused his attention on his shadows, his brow furrowing in concentration as they moved over every surface in the hospital, finally he was able to distinguish two abnormalities. Within moments they had been swallowed by the shadows. Tatsumi reached up to rub his temples, frowning at the slight headache that was beginning there, and adjusting his glassed turned to leave in the direction that Tsuzuki had taken, coughing harshly as he went.

**XXX**

Muraki grimaced slightly as he appeared in a small grove of trees not to far from his house in Tokyo. No matter how many times he did it, teleportation was still not his favourite means of transportation, but his car was a mangled piece of scrap iron in some distant junk heap, and he was in a hurry to be home.

Adjusting the light body in his arms he moved at a brisk pace, avoiding any questioning gazes until he reached his own front door. Unwilling to deal with the bother of hunting for his keys while juggling the burden he carried, he simply kicked the door and waited. Less than a minute had passed before the door was swung wide.

"Welcome home Master." Sakaki motioned for Muraki to pass him, looking completely undisturbed by the unconscious figure in his master's arms. Muraki turned to manoeuvre the sleeping shinigami through the doorway and paused briefly.

"Master?"

Muraki passed Sakaki into the house, smirking. "I believe we may have company coming Sakaki." He informed the older man. "If you would be so kind as to inform them I'm out? Neither the bouya nor I are any shape to deal with guest."

Sakaki nodded.

"Very good, I'll leave you to make our excuses."

**XXX**

For the first time in weeks Hisoka slept undisturbed, with all his memories intact and his empathy once again functioning at full strength after having absorbed the mass of negative emotions Muraki had released, his subconscious mind began to process and analyze all the emotions he'd felt during the last several weeks.

Hisoka knew he was dreaming.

_He was in Meifu, in the infirmary…_

_Watari looked over as Tsuzuki left the room, then move to the chair that the other man had vacated. Sitting down, he offered Hisoka a warm smile. "So how are you really feeling?"_

_Hisoka shot the older man a dirty look. "Not you too, I am totally fine!"_

_Watari leaned forward, a more serious expression showing on his face. "Not physically, I know your fine. But you seem to be getting pretty close to Muraki, are you okay?"_

_Hisoka blanched. "I'm okay."_

"…_Kazutaka is so different than the man who…" He paused, rubbing his forehead. "Killed me. He feels different and the emotions that I feel from him, they…"_

"_They what?"_

"_They sometimes feel a little like the emotions that I get from Tsuzuki." Hisoka looked up into the amber eyes._

"_How's that?"_

"_Oh I don't know, Kazutaka's feelings are more **possessive**, but Tsuzuki's are stronger, when I can pick up on them."_

"_So how does that make you feel?" Watari asked, he leaned even closer, concern showing in his gaze. "You realize though, that Kazutaka is not a separate person, he is still Muraki, and you need to remember that."_

_Green eyes shifted away. "Yes, I know." He said softly._

_Too much._

"_**When my barrier broke I had only two options,"**_

_His world was flooded in waves of anger, hatred and pain._

"_**I could have let that thing invade Kazutaka, or I could take it into myself, I chose the latter. But I didn't realize that that build up of emotions would affect me the way they did. I should have been able to dispel them, but they overrode my senses and I…"**_

_It was too much._

"_**I should have been able to control it."**_

_He was drowning in emotions that were too strong for him and he felt his mind buckle under the oppressive weight._

_All around him, through him was darkness._

_**Is this what drives evil?**_

_Help me…_

_Tsuzuki…_

_**It hurts…**_

_A step._

_(angerfustrationcontemptfearHATErageangerdesireconfusion)_

_**I want…**_

_Another step._

_(miserylustangerhatefearlongingFEARloathingcontemptrage)_

_**To make it…**_

_Another step._

_(disgustwantfearrevengeneedangerRAGEresentmentfustrationhate)_

_**STOP!**_

_Hisoka kept walking, unaware of his surroundings._

_(REVENGE)_

_Can't forget…_

_**Anything to make it stop!**_

_Can't forgive…_

**XXX**

Tsuzuki and Tatsumi stopped outside the house, Gushoshin hovering in front of them impatiently. "This is the one."

"Are you sure?" Tsuzuki asked doubtfully. "It looks so… normal!"

"Yes I'm sure!" Gushoshin glared at the shinigami. "This is where that doctor brought Hisoka-san!"

"Very well." Tatsumi led the way to the door and knocked briskly. "Let's see, shall we?"

For several minutes there was nothing, then the sound of approaching footsteps. Tsuzuki tensed visibly as they drew closer and Tatsumi reached out, placing a reassuring hand on his arm.

The door swung inwards to reveal an older man with salt and pepper hair and a dignified air, rather than the white clad Doctor they had been expecting.

"May I help you?"

Tatsumi recovered himself first. "Is Dr. Muraki here? Or perhaps a young man…"

"I'm sorry, the master is out for the evening and the young sir is indisposed and not receiving visitors. If you wish you may try again tomorrow." Without waiting for a response, the man shut the door firmly.

The shadows around the shinigami twitched as Tatsumi's eyes narrowed, and Tsuzuki's mouth hung open in shock at the abrupt dismissal. Tsuzuki moved forward and placed his hand on the door, frowning. "Warded." He looked back at Tatsumi. "Probably the whole house."

Tatsumi nodded, his shadows were already moving along the outer walls of the building looking for possible unprotected entrances, finding none.

"Which means we can't get in, and Hisoka can't come out." Tsuzuki's shoulders slumped in defeat. "So now what?"

Tatsumi smiled grimly. "We come back tomorrow and hope the good doctor is at home." He turned and started to walk away from the house, then turned back as he realized that Tsuzuki hadn't moved. "Tsuzuki?"

Tsuzuki looked away from the house to meet Tatsumi's eyes. "I wonder what he meant by indisposed…"

**XXX**

Hisoka gasped, his eyes shooting open and his head jerking back to thump painfully off something hard. He groaned miserably, his head throbbed, his limbs stiff and his back aching. Looking around he realized he was sitting in a wooden chair in front of a snapping fire. To his left was a comfortable looking wingback chair with a small end table beside it. Hisoka winced as he recognized his surroundings, he was back where he had started. He tried to raise his hand to rub his eyes, only to hiss as something dug into his arm. Looking down he saw black, oily strands wrapped around his arms numerous times, securing them to the arms of his chair.

"Damn it!" Hisoka muttered, pulling futilely against the hairs which dug in deep, drops of blood, then trickles staining the armrests.

Finally he gave up, sure that he would be amputating a limb before managing to break the strands and his entire body slumped in defeat.

With nothing else to distract him, Hisoka's mind turned back to the dream. He shook his head, trying to push it away. It wasn't enough, he had absorbed too many emotions in too short a time, especially with the return of Muraki's memories and his own. He was too emotionally charged for the small amount of sleep that he'd gotten to be enough for his mind to process everything he'd absorbed, he needed rest so he could analyze everything he'd felt.

But the dream came back to him anyway, Watari's warning, Muraki's possessiveness.

Possessiveness…

A flash of anger ran through him, he was not a toy, not a doll! A sudden prickling in the back of his neck alerted the empath that he was no longer alone in the room. He jerked his head, but stopped at the shard of pain that the motion sent through his temples. Still he didn't need to see him to know who was standing behind him.

"Did you really consider me a person in all that time? Or was I just a 'thing' to you? Something to own?"

There was a swish of fabric as Muraki strode into view, leaning against the wingback chair. "Frankly bouya, I'm not sure I could give you an honest answer. I remember what happened, but the memories of how I felt have become dim. I could tell you what, but perhaps not why."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hisoka asked, scowling.

"Interpret it as you will. Perhaps it means I love you in my own way, of course we all know my way is usually not conductive to your continued well-being…"

Hisoka shuttered.

"Or perhaps I never did think of you as more than a possession, the first and only that I marked as totally mine, and very precious." Muraki reached out and brushed the hair back from Hisoka's forehead, and the youth flinched back from the touch.

"I am not yours!"

Muraki trailed a pale finger down Hisoka's throat to his chest, and Hisoka gasped as the curse marks flared. "These say differently bouya."

"I am not yours." Hisoka stated again, trying to keep his voice level despite the burning of the curse and his own chaotic emotions, flying off the handle always proved detrimental around Muraki.

"Saying it does not make it truth." Muraki smirked. "You are more mine than you know, even if you hate me for it. What I want to know is why you tried to help me, I would have thought your hatred ran deeper than that."

"I don't know." Hisoka looked away looking both upset and pensive. "When I saw you in the hospital, you felt different to me… For the first time, you felt… Human."

Muraki jerked back as if struck, blinking several times before regaining his composure. "That's quite ironic coming from you."

"Why?" Hisoka asked, frowning.

"Your sense of who may or may not be human seems to be slightly skewered, you told Tsuzuki-san that he is human after all…"

"He is human." Hisoka interrupted.

"And not being entirely human yourself, how would you be able to make such a judgement?"

"I have fought demons." Hisoka began, his voice clipped. "They have no souls. They're like a void, they don't love, they don't regret. They don't feel sorrow, they don't hope, they don't _care._ They have none of the redeeming qualities that make up humanity. Tsuzuki does, his soul is human no matter what his genes reveal, as for me," He paused and shook his head. "I don't care, I was told I was a demon before I was old enough to know what the word meant, whether it's true or not doesn't really matter to me. I still feel." A touch of irony crept into his voice. "Even when I don't want to admit it. You on the other hand, before I ran into you in the hospital I would have said that you were more demon that human… You felt almost like they do."

Muraki's hands fisted at his sides, but he didn't interrupt the youth.

"But in the hospital, that darkness I usually feel from you was gone and the redeeming emotions that I didn't even think you could feel were there." Hisoka finally looked up and met the silver blue eyes, his own showing a mixture of fear and sadness. "And now they're disappearing again, smothered under your own darkness."

"You should leave alone what you do not understand." Muraki said in a soft, angry voice, turning away from the green eyes and moving to stand in front of the fireplace, looking into the flickering flames.

"Don't I?" Hisoka leaned forward in the chair, talking in a low intense tone. "I absorbed your negative emotions, every single one of them. They overwhelmed me, I couldn't control them, I couldn't control my own actions under their influence, I hurt…" Hisoka shook his head, he was not going there. "You've spent a life time feeding them, focusing on them, giving them strength until they became all that defined you." His eyes widened in realization. "That's why you lost your memories after the accident! Your spell drew that part out of you! Without it you were just the bare human underneath, no past, no memories…"

Muraki whipped around, pale eyes flashing. "That's enough!" He hissed. "I am not controlled by my emotions!"

"But you are!" Hisoka's eyes were still wide with the realization, not looking at the angry man, but off somewhere into the distance. "More than you know! And it's something you've done to yourself!"

Muraki backhanded him, his head snapping to the side and rapping smartly of the high wooden back of the chair. Hisoka blinked as he was snapped back into the moment. Emerald eyes finally locked with icy silver blue and Hisoka reached out to the mind of the man who had killed him.

That perpetual darkness was still prevalent, but he could feel other emotions underneath, fighting not to be gone, the fear that what he'd said was the truth, the regret and sense of loss…

"Kazutaka…"

Those feelings surged forward through the darkness, however briefly, along with other, warmer feelings.

"Let me go."

Muraki regarded him for a long moment, and then knelt down in front of him, leaning in close. "What if I don't want to bouya? What then?"

Hisoka kept his steady gazed locked with Muraki's, he was looking at the man who could have been. "Please."

Finally Muraki nodded, looking like he'd come to a hard decision. Pulling a knife out of his long white coat, he cut through the hairs that had resisted Hisoka's efforts. Hisoka let out a small hiss of pain as the hairs pulled out of his flesh and the skin began to close.

Muraki stood up and turned back to the fireplace. "You'd better go now, before I change my mind."

Hisoka got to his feet as well and hurried to the door, stopping when his hand rested on the knob. "Thank you." He said softly without looking back.

Muraki responded with an unseen nod and listen to the sound of the door opening and closing with finality.


	15. Chapter 15

I'm still here! At least I was last time I checked!

And I have a new beta reader, the talented and intelligent (and hopefully very patient) TrisakAminawn. So any mistakes you may find in this chapter are a result of me ignoring her excellent advise, or a result of my need to tinker with the writing after it's been retuned to me, (twice!) and therefore, entirely my fault.

**Chapter 15**

Tsuzuki lay sprawled out on his bed fully dressed. His eyes burned with exhaustion, but his mind was racing in a chaotic swirl, and he kept coming back to one thought.

Hisoka had forgotten him.

Tatsumi had told him there was something wrong with his partner, but in the midst of the rescue effort at Jinki Hospital, and the subsequent hunting down of the damned doctor, Tsuzuki hadn't taken the time to tell Tatsumi just what was wrong, or how much it disturbed him.

The one person who mattered the most, who had asked him live for him, had forgotten him.

"_Who are you?"_

Tsuzuki felt something tighten in his chest at the memory of confused green eyes looking down at him with no hint of recognition. Holding an arm across his eyes, he took a deep breath through the ache and held it.

Hisoka didn't know him.

Tsuzuki all but threw himself from the bed and began pacing the room. "It's not true!" He muttered to himself. "Remember what Kano-san said." He could almost hear her small amused laugh…

"_I asked him the same thing, he told me home is where Tsuzuki is."_

Finally a measure of calm settled over Tsuzuki and his pacing slowed. Even if Hisoka didn't remember him, he still _knew_ him, somewhere deep down where Muraki hadn't been able to touch.

"_I want to go home."_

And even without remembering, he still wanted to be with him.

"_This is where I belong, here in your heart…"_

"_I will always come back to you, got that? 'Cause this is where I belong."_

A tired smile spread across Tsuzuki's face as he turned on his heel and headed briskly to the door of his apartment, sweeping up his long coat on his way, stopping to lock the door before heading out into the night.

There was no moon lighting the dark night, and only the stars gave witness to the flutter of the black-clothed figure that paused in the empty street. He looked up at the distant pin pricks of light as if in contemplation. "I will bring you home Hisoka." He whispered quietly before disappearing. Silence reigned for several long moments before it was broken by the knocking of a fist on wood.

**XXX**

Watari tugged on Tatsumi's coat sleeve, nearly pulling the shadow master off his feet. Squinting into the morning sun he pointed towards a lone figure in a dark coat. "There he is!"

Tatsumi shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose between his forefingers. "Why did I bring you along?"

Watari let out his full sunny grin on the shadow master. "'Cause I was bored and who knows what kind of trouble I could get into without supervision!"

Tatsumi suppressed another sigh as he headed in the direction Watari had pointed out, where Tsuzuki stood under the shadows of a tree across the street from Muraki's house. Tsuzuki barely spared a glance for them as they approached him. "You didn't come into work again today Tsuzuki-san." Tatsumi greeted his co-worker.

Tsuzuki gave him a shadow of a grin. "Nope, I guess I didn't."

"Were you here all night?" Tatsumi asked, noticing the exhaustion in the normally bright violet eyes.

"No." Tsuzuki met blue eyes steadily. "I went home for a bit." Less than half an hour, but Tatsumi didn't need to know that. "I still can't get in, but at the very least I could keep watch."

"Hey! Are you two coming or what?"

Tsuzuki and Tatsumi turned to see Watari at Muraki's door looking back at them, his fist poised to knock.

"We're going to confront Mr. Evil Psycho Doctor and get bon back, right?"

Tsuzuki's lips twitched. "Right." He called out, hurrying across the street towards Watari. Tatsumi followed more slowly, shaking his head as he went.

The door swung open even before Tatsumi had caught up to the other two. Watari turned back to the door in surprise, his fist still upraised, but now it was poised to knock on the head of a tall, well dressed, older man.

"Good day, I am Sakaki. The master will see you now." The man stepped back from the door, making room for the shinigami to enter.

Tsuzuki, Tatsumi and Watari all exchanged perplexed looks before stepping through the doorway. Why was Muraki willing to see them now? They had expected a fight of some sort and this easy admittance threw them off balance.

The tall man closed the door and headed towards an open archway. "This way please."

Tatsumi caught Tsuzuki and Watari's arms as they both moved unhesitatingly after the man. "I don't like this."

Watari flashed him a quick smile. "The direct route is often the best one, Tatsumi!"

Tatsumi raised a brow. "I believe there is a saying, look before you leap?"

"Aa, but that takes time."

"Let's go," Tsuzuki said quietly, already turning back in the direction the butler had gone.

They were lead through the archway and into a dark panelled room. Books lined one wall, drawing Watari's attention. The other side of the room was dominated by a large fire place that drew Tsuzuki's.

Tsuzuki came to a sudden stop just inside the room and was almost run over by Watari, who was less than a step behind him.

"Hey!" Watari exclaimed stepping out from behind the older man. "What's…?" He trailed off, further questions were halted by the sight of the two chairs situated before the fireplace, both facing away from the three shinigami.

"Tsuzuki?" Tatsumi asked softly, placing a supporting hand on Tsuzuki's shoulder.

Tsuzuki spared a quick glance back at his superior before turning back to the sight that had arrested him.

Not the first chair, a tall leather-upholstered wingback, but the other, a simple wooden chair with dark stains marring the arms and similar stains marking the carpet around it. None of the shinigami needed to be told the cause of the discolouration.

"Damn!" Watari cursed under his breath.

"They were only superficial wounds," came the soft smooth voice from the wingback chair. "The bouya has yet to learn to give in gracefully. Luckily for him, it seems to be part of his charm. Thank you, Sakaki, that will be all."

The man, still standing in the archway bowed slightly towards the chair and left the room.

"Where's Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked without preamble. The sight of the bloodstained chair had immobilized him momentarily, but a rush of anger spurred him back into movement. He circled the wingback chair to face the man therein.

"Well hello to you too, Tsuzuki-san, and how are you this morning?" Muraki looked up calmly in the face of Tsuzuki's anger, his lips quirking slightly.

"Let's skip the pleasantries, shall we?" Tatsumi stated coldly, stepping up behind Tsuzuki, cobalt blue eyes flashing behind his glasses. "You know why we are here."

"Of course." Muraki agreed. "You've come for the bouya. Unfortunately, I'm afraid you're too late."

"What?" Tsuzuki and Watari exclaimed in unison.

Tatsumi narrowed his eyes at the pale man. "Explain."

Muraki scowled over Tsuzuki's shoulder at him. "What's to explain? You're too late. The bouya has already left."

Watari approached the chair. "Bon left?"

"I believe that's what I said."

"Did… Did he remember…?" Tsuzuki began.

"Did he remember what, Tsuzuki-san?"

"Anything, being a shinigami? His past?" _Me?_ The unspoken thought hung in the air. Tsuzuki could see the surprise on Watari's face and felt Tatsumi's hand fell on his shoulder.

Muraki rested his chin on his hand in contemplation. "I didn't ask what he remembered. I suppose he must have remembered some things…"

"You made bon forget? Forget what? How much?"

Muraki looked over at the blonde scientist. "Six years," the doctor informed him. "I made him forget everything from the day before he met me."

"So that's why bon didn't come back to Meifu on his own! Yes!" Watari began to pump his fist into the air, but lowered it sheepishly at the incredulous looks he was receiving from his co-workers and the doctor. "What?" He said defensively. "I like being right!"

"Right about what?" Muraki asked raising a curious brow.

"When you disappeared with bon, they…" Watari gestured to Tsuzuki and Tatsumi. "…were sure you were going to hurt him. I told them you wouldn't, and you didn't, did you?"

Muraki glared at the blonde.

"So why did he leave in the first place?" Watari wondered aloud.

Muraki's glare darkened.

"Let me guess. You scared the crap out of him with some re-emerging personality quirks and he ran for the hills."

Muraki's glare was now blistering. "Essentially."

"And you went through a lot of effort to get him back, so why would you let him leave now?"

Tsuzuki could have sworn he saw an expression of complete bafflement cross Muraki's face, but it was gone in the space of a single heartbeat, leaving the doctor composed as he answered Watari's question.

"I'm sure it was a passing moment of insanity that I'll soon overcome."

"Oh."

"What?" Muraki demanded irritably, taking in Watari's suddenly sombre and sorrowful expression.

"That's too bad. That passing moment of insanity was a rather nice person."

"If Kurosaki-kun is no longer here, then I see no reason for the three of us to remain." Tatsumi spoke out, giving Tsuzuki's shoulder a gentle nudge. "Tsuzuki, Watari, I believe it is time we took our leave."

Muraki looked away from Watari to look at Tatsumi. "Sakaki will show you out."

"That won't be necessary." Tatsumi told him with an icy smile. "I'm sure we can find the door."

**XXX**

It was long past dark when Tsuzuki let himself into his apartment. Tired and discouraged, he slumped his way through the apartment, not even bothering to turn on a light. Letting his long coat slide to the ground as he crossed the bedroom, he perched on the edge of the bed he rested his elbows on his knees and let his head fall into his hands.

Numb.

Tsuzuki ran his fingers through his hair… he felt numb. All day there had been no sign of Hisoka. Between him, Tatsumi and Watari they had searched everywhere they could think of; he had checked Hisoka's small house and the offices of Enma-cho, Tatsumi had taken Jikei Hospital and the Kokakuro, and Watari had even gone so far as to search Kamakura and the Kurosaki family home. They had found no sign of the youngest shinigami. Tsuzuki had no idea what to do next. They were back to square one.

"I'm sorry 'Soka," he whispered into the darkness.

"Baka."

A small smile twisted Tsuzuki's lips. He was hearing his partner's voice, a tired whisper tinged with exasperation. If only it was real.

A tear fell to the floor, followed by another, and Tsuzuki bit his lip trying to stem the flow. A drop of ruby red joined the growing number of tears.

A knock at the door drew him out of his growing sense of melancholy. He looked up and drew a shuttering breath before climbing to his feet and making his way back across the darkened apartment, wiping his eyes as he went.

Tsuzuki was mildly surprised when he opened the door to find his elderly landlords waiting for him. They both bowed low and respectfully. Tsuzuki's eyes widened. "Um… Hello? "

The diminutive man gestured at his spouse. "She did it." He turned and walked away, ignoring his wife's' glare.

The elderly woman turned back to Tsuzuki and bowed again, deeply. "I'm very sorry Tsuzuki-san, very sorry, I know I shouldn't have, but I did, and I am so sorry, it will never happen again, please forgive me, I am so sorry…"

"Shouldn't have what?" Tsuzuki asked, cutting off the woman's apologies and trying to get her to stand up. "What did you do?"

"I let him into your apartment. Normally I'd never, but he was so nice…"

"You let someone into my apartment?" Tsuzuki stammered out, incredulous.

"I'm so sorry…"

"It's okay." Tsuzuki reassured her, catching her hand to keep her from sinking back into another bow, at the same time craning his neck to look over his shoulder to see if the uninvited person was sneaking up on him. "I'm sure it's fine."

The little old lady beamed at him. "Thank you!" Without another word she hurried away before Tsuzuki could change his mind.

Tsuzuki let the door softly fall closed behind her, letting his eyes travel over the familiar silhouettes in the dark, looking for anything out of place. He began to move slowly, room to room, finally turning on lights as he went without finding anything unusual. Scratching his head, Tsuzuki headed back to the bedroom, wondering who his landlady had let into his apartment, and where they could have gone.

The light from the hallway spilled into the room ahead of him and Tsuzuki froze with his hand on the light switch.

The pile of blankets on his bed was moving.

Not much, just a small, steady rise and fall with each breath.

Tsuzuki's eyes widened with realization. He had sat on the edge of his bed and not noticed that someone was sleeping right behind him.

Tsuzuki let his hand fall from the light switch and hesitantly crossed the still dark room, his mind already starting up a hopeful litany that he couldn't quash.

_Oh please, oh please, oh please, please…_

He reached out and grabbed a handful of the blankets. "Hisoka?" He whispered as he drew them down.

The sleeper rolled towards him, blonde hair spilling across familiar features, blinking groggily before focusing on him. Tsuzuki felt his heart constrict as he saw recognition brighten those green eyes.

"Tadaima ." Hisoka whispered sleepily.

Tsuzuki all but collapsed on the bed, and in the next breath had pulled his partner into his arms, holding on tightly.

"Okaeri Hisoka."


	16. Chapter 16

**Epilogue**

The sun had long since finished setting when Oriya stepped out into his garden. Even in the dark stillness he knew that his uninvited guest was waiting for him. He stepped out onto the path, pulling out his pipe as he did so.

"Muraki?"

There was a faint snap and a tiny flame appeared, and a shadowy figure lit a cigarette before the flame flickered out of existence.

"Why are you here?" Oriya asked, not really expecting an answer.

"No reason." Muraki's voice was soft. "I just needed a moment, and this is the most peaceful place that I know of."

A small smile pulled up Oriya's lips. "I'm glad I can provide that at least. Is it something you wish to talk about?"

Muraki exhaled a stream of smoke before answering. "Not particularly."

The two men sat in compatible silence before Muraki finally spoke again. "I let the bouya go."

Oriya fumbled with his pipe, almost dropping it in his surprise. "You did? Why?"

"Because he asked me to, and he was right."

Muraki finished his cigarette before continuing.

"It doesn't matter. This is what I am, and the feeling is fading like the memory of a dream."

Oriya waited.

"It was just, if only for a moment…" Muraki turned his head up to the stars, as if seeking answers there. "I was finally seen as somebody who could be, human."

Oriya lowered his head, one hand clenched in the fabric of his kimono, the other wrapped tightly around the stem of his pipe, considering his reply. He looked up in time to see the ghostly shadow disappear into the darkness.

"I've always seen that person."

Oriya tilted his own head back to contemplate the cold, distant points of light, seeking his own answers therein.

Out of sight, but not quite out of hearing, pale lips turned up in a slight smile.

"Thank-you Oriya."

**XXX**

"…and one two three, one two three, one two three, dip."

The pair gliding across the dance floor paused for a moment in their finishing move. Then Shiori laughed brightly. "I think we've got it down, what do you say we call it a night Nitta?"

Her partner pulled her back up to her feet. "Go, change and I'll meet you at the door."

Shiori hurried to the little changing room attached to her studio and stripped out of her practice clothes. She was doing up the buttons on her blouse when she heard the tapping of someone knocking at the studio door. "Nitta?"

"I've got it!" He called back.

There was the faint mutter of voices as Shiori put on a pair of old running shoes and left the changing room in time to see Nitta turn away from the door with an arm full of flowers.

"These are for you."

Shiori took the bouquet from him and ran her hand lightly over the blooms. "How lovely! Who are they from?"

"They were delivered by a blonde kid."

Shiori's eyes widened. It had been almost a week since she had last seen Hisoka at Jikei hospital, and she had wondered several times if the boy was alright. Knowing that his brother had turned up at the hospital eased her mind, but she still wondered from time to time if he was whole and happy.

Rushing past Nitta, she threw open the studio doors. Down the street, almost out of sight she could see a small, slender figure walking away. Blonde hair gleamed faintly under the street lights. She drew in a breath to call out Hisoka's name when another figure stepped out of the shadows to stand at the young man's side.

The blonde head turned up towards the other, and even at that distance Shiori could see the slight smile that turned up his lip in an expression she had not seen in their time together.

The darker head bent down until their foreheads met.

"Shiori-chan?"

Shiori looked back at Nitta briefly before turning her attention back to the pair on the street. They had started walking again, a dark clad arm draped over narrow shoulders as they disappeared into the night.

Shiori turned back into the studio, holding the flowers close.

"There's a note." Nitta held up a small card that had come with the bouquet.

Shiori took the small card from Nitta and opened it.

_Dear Shiori-san_

_I'd like to thank you for all your help, and let you_

_know that I found my way back to where I belong._

_Thank you for helping me find my way home._

_I wish you all the best._

_Hisoka_


End file.
